Wanderings and … wonderings.

Another blast from the past. It’s not exactly Peak Arnie but I was most surprised by how entertaining Eraser (1996) was. It has all your rudimentary action and the one-liners, but it does have an edge to it – government corruption, the technocrats and big business once again going all out to be utter horror shows. It’s a recurring theme. The Governator is great in this, and a much better actor than folk give him credit for. You believe him in every role because of his sincerity and commitment; he’s not going to be the leading man in a Merchant-Ivory acting job but he’d probably excel as an Austrian butler on work experience.

He shoots an alligator (it might be a crocodile, I don’t know the difference) in a zoo and his catchphrase is exactly as I would have scripted it: “You’re luggage.”

And what happened to Vanessa Williams? She’s a legit babe in this and with acting chops thrown into the mix. Eraser: Part II?

That’s it, really. I can’t think of anything else of note.

Bye for now.

This is another vintage example of good cheese, which I define as cheese done good/well/correct. It is ludicrous at times but I respect its sincerity even if it’s accidentally pish. It’s very hard to make a movie from Arthurian legend that even registers into the realm of ‘realism’, and this bad boy completely jettisons all elements of magic which propel those fables into the otherworldly. They made an attempt. They failed, but it’s still wildly entertaining.

Firstly, I would like to confess that I think Richard Gere is a very good actor but only if he’s allotted a specific archetype, which conversely means he’s not much of an actor at all. He excels at playing himself. Here, he’s drowning. His ‘character’ is so ridiculous and flippant, I can’t think of a reason for Guinevere to even sniff him aside from his looks (which are considerable). It doesn’t make sense because she’s clearly above that kind of thing. It makes even less sense when you have Sean Connery as the love rival and he is by all accounts a universal fanny magnet. His Arthur is also sagacious, wise, humane, merciful. I could honestly write a better script than this.

It’s still great. You have an obstacle course straight out of the British TV show Gladiators (AWOOGA!), the casual appearance of Chris Finch from The Office, wonderfully choreographed swordplay, a plastic castle, and the ersatz Caesar haircut of Ben Cross. The weird thing is that you believe in the world on display. It somehow works in its insanity, a bit like Waterworld (1995), but less good.

I love a scintillating accidental shitter with good intentions.

This: