I don’t get it. Is this supposed to be funny because Arnie is pregnant? Is that how the premise was pitched? It’s not even remotely amusing.
I was disappointed in myself for watching this shit, one of the flattest movies I’ve seen.
Junior (1994).
Tag Archives: Cinema
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) is mortifying.
I tried.
Scorsese always deserves a second change of pants.
This movie is fucking atrocious. The needless, meandering, wholly unmemorable dialogue was the worst element of this unimpressive stinker.
You get the impression they are all about to drop the bombshell. And there isn’t one.
And it’s not even funny.
I hated it and hope you do too.
Sorry, Marty.
Final Destination Bloodlines (2025).
How a gruesome series of sadistic slashers whose sole concern is setting up, with our complicity in the premonition, chain-reaction sequences of unfettered butchery can be … fun is entirely testament to the filmmakers.
And this is by a mile the best yet.
Back to the Future Part II (1989).
It’s brilliant.
Complex but not too much so, at breakneck pacing the internal paradoxes of time travel have seldom had such thrilling treatment. It’s all a bit depressing as well, with one wrong move ruining future generations, but it’s done in an enjoyable way. Dumping Jennifer, Marty’s beleaguered girlfriend and soon-to-be wife, in an alleyway (and then a porch) is a bit naughty, though. That’s not aged well.
As for it’s prediction of 2015, much of it was accurate, but I don’t recall hoverboards a decade ago. Even today, members of Edinburgh’s shrieking underclass community are still pounding it along pavements on pink scooters (stolen), with lifted cleaning goods from budget supermarket Aldi shoved down their tracksuit bottoms.
The General (1998).
Brendan Gleeson is one of the finest out there and even in a stinker he’s never the one doing the stinking.
Jon Voight, best known these days as an outspoken MAGA acolyte, has his considerable talents on display as our protagonist’s Gardaí nemesis, the Nineties his thesp Indian summer. This and his barking turn in Anaconda (1997) is a mighty double bill I would recommend to anyone.
The black and white works, it’s frequently thrilling, and he’s a very funny character who maintains your interest.
Superb movie.
Manchester by the Sea (2016).
Despite some well-written scenes built around awkward moments, this is a hollow tragedy wholly dependent upon flashback structure as a means of keeping the audience attuned. And with a protagonist who doesn’t deserve our sympathy, or attention, or any kind of movie made about him, and he’s a lifeless fucker at that.
You understand, with an unsympathetic lad, the brutal approach with the likes of Taxi Driver (1976) or Raging Bull (1980), but these movies were made with exceptional grace and a magnetic, kinetic urgency.
This was just a derivative, bubbling affair, the extended, longing shots of troubled souls staring at one another lifted from a thousand playbooks. I was bored with every character in this film, as was I with the reliance on rote soundtrack choices I’d expect to be made on a student production.
And Kyle Chandler is in it with one of the most exotic versions of a Massachusetts accent I’ve ever heard in a movie. These folk are American actors and can’t even do a dialect properly from a state in their own country.
Rubbish.
Total Recall (1990).
This is one funny movie.
Paul Verhoeven excelled at satirical splatter. Then he made Black Book (2006) and it was a sort of solemn drama and departure from corporate critique, and very good despite the absence of jokes.
Arnie is incredible in this. For a good decade he could do no wrong, the best of the hulking beasts.
5/5, a glorious film.
The Rock (1996).
Viewing at the cinema for a wee nostalgia evening, and it’s still incredible in every way and will always remain so.
There’s a surfeit of goodies here: Cage at the start of his insane holy trinity that is this bad boy, Face/Off (1997), and Con Air (1997); Connery oozing nonchalant cool; the frankly mental Marines, these including Candyman and the Gordon Gekko lookalike who played the health inspector in Friends; the San Francisco vistas, and the fact that every moment of this risible scenario works, as in you do believe what is happening.
One of the rare action movies in which the music fits the thrills to a tee, and the images are exquisite, the best version of Michael Bay(hem).
It’s a damn great movie.
Sisu (2022).
Sublime cinematography stuns from the very first minute and shows this is a director who understands visuals and how to elevate the script (his own) through them.
Someone (I don’t know who) called it the John Wick of war movies. I’d subscribe to that view. It’s a total riot and a wee bitty nuts.
Time to watch a doc on the Winter War (1939-40).
About Schmidt (2002).
This is about one of those retired characters who keeps on turning up to a workplace he’s no longer invited to. Or has nothing to do unless it’s scripted. The director excels at the awkwardness of human interaction and it’s the running theme of his oeuvre.
I’d like to imagine there are conscious, intended connections to Five Easy Pieces (1970), as it does feel like a companion piece, how the lad found his destination after the gas station pit stop.
It’s phenomenal work from Jack Nicholson in one of his last roles. He is a force of nature, and he doesn’t even have to shout. He’s just there with his presence and that’s enough, building a sad, bitter character into one with dimensions as the chap gradually learns to cope with his situation.
Jack has been missed.
Wanderings and ... wonderings. 