:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(739x98:741x100)/Ridley-Scotts-Napoleon-featuring-Joaquin-Phoenix-071023-3-ae033f95e06a46949315b75d8b83f1e2.jpg)
I gave it another bash.
I lasted 28 minutes.
It’s like a movie that has been concocted from the Earth’s crust and skipped the Dinosaurs and is somehow with us.
It’s a rotten motion picture.
Bye for now.
Napoleon (2023). It’s worse the second time.
Tag Archives: Movie
A Complete Unknown (2024).
A perfectly reasonable and noble biopic, so totally in awe of its subject that I lost interest and inevitably pulled the plug due to how tame and by the numbers it was.
But that hour wasn’t torture; I spent most of it on the topic’s Wikipedia entry, a few mumbling song renditions in the background.
So, thanks for the wee boost, for I can now hold a five-minute conversation about Bob Dylan.
Rounders (1998).
What a boring story.
What a boring voice-over.
What a boring actor (here, anyway).
Poker is even made to be boring.
Ed Norton arrives and you think it’s to liven proceedings but he’s just as boring as everyone else.
The poster is boring and perfectly encapsulates how boring the movie is.
A boring waste of boring time, I hated this fucking boring slog.
Lester Diamond.
James Woods as the odious pimp Lester Diamond in Casino (1995).
The lad features for a mere 10 minutes but in those precious scenes cements his acting legacy by effortlessly creating one of the the sleaziest, slimiest characters ever put on celluloid.
James Woods is a treat and we should be grateful to him.
Happy Gilmore 2 (2025).
Strong nostalgia tour here, the type of entirely unnecessary sequel you’d expect after a 30-year hiatus.
It’s okay for what it is – hit and miss, breezy enough for an hour but far too draining once the physical comedy reaches breaking point in its repetition.
And erstwhile golfer/legendary hellraiser John Daly has a cameo. I forgot about him. But I’m glad I have learned he is still alive.
Harry Gregson-Williams.
The score in Kingdom of Heaven (2005) is exceptional, one of the best I’ve heard, and beautifully applied to image. It’s just a shame Orlando Bloom features, but I suppose you can mute him.
It evokes a time and place in a way that is definitive, without qualification. This is what that period sounded like, surely:
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) is mortifying.
I tried.
Scorsese always deserves a second change of pants.
This movie is fucking atrocious. The needless, meandering, wholly unmemorable dialogue was the worst element of this unimpressive stinker.
You get the impression they are all about to drop the bombshell. And there isn’t one.
And it’s not even funny.
I hated it and hope you do too.
Sorry, Marty.
F1 (2025).
Jerry Bruckheimer. Hans Zimmer on score duties. A beautiful leading man. Is this another era? I’m torn: it’s either the late 1980s or early ’90s.
A perfectly good movie here, throwback feel revved up to suitable levels of nostalgia but with cutting edge pyrotechnics.
Final Destination Bloodlines (2025).
How a gruesome series of sadistic slashers whose sole concern is setting up, with our complicity in the premonition, chain-reaction sequences of unfettered butchery can be … fun is entirely testament to the filmmakers.
And this is by a mile the best yet.
Wanderings and ... wonderings. 