Wanderings and ... wonderings.

Apr 24 2021

Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, World War Two, WWII

The English Patient (1996) is just total crap.

I had to slap myself by the end of this because I once, for reasons beyond any understanding of my own psyche, thought it was brilliant. It’s not. It’s fucking dire. It’s SO boring. Everything about it is boring. The characters are boring. The story is boring. It even makes WWII boring. Nothing in it is even worth telling. Almost everyone on display is an imbecile; Juliette Binoche is the only one with a personality.

I don’t get the central romance on display. The Katharine character (if you can call her that) is just so … BORING. There is literally nothing about her worth bothering with because she is a cure for insomnia. And I lost track of how many times the director had to pull out a plane crash or a plane being shot in order to advance the plot. It infuriated me. Is this nonsense in the book? It swept the awards in 1996. The voters must have all been on drugs.

I must have been on drugs when I watched this a decade ago and thought it a cracker. There’s no other explanation.

Pile of shite.

Tagged Film, Movie, Shite, The English Patient

Apr 22 2021

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Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United Kingdom

Snatch (2000) is great until a certain former Wimbledon footballer makes an appearance.

This admittedly amusing movie is not about a single thing aside from how the narrative strands collide, and they are loose connections at most. It is merely highly entertaining, brimming with energy and giggles, though we mainly laugh at how stupid and un-self-aware most of the characters are. It’s a lot of fun until Vinnie Jones turns up and sinks the joys. He’s just awful in everything, but especially this.

For some reason he transitioned from being a dreadful footballer to a dreadful actor. I blame that whole late ’90s ‘lad culture’ … thing, the heyday of Loaded magazine and the milder second renaissance of the beer-swigging hooligan. Only back then could someone so talentless be glorified for thuggery. He’s a former football hardman turned hardman ‘actor’ and this is meant to be hilarious. Sigh.

But it’s cracking until he turns up.

Tagged Cockney, Comedy, Crime, Film, Guy Richie, London, Mockney, Movie, Movies, Snatch

Apr 20 2021

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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Uncategorized

The Grey (2011) is fabulous.

I’ve read a few sneering reviews from snooty film critics taking umbrage at the movie’s existential pretensions. I don’t get where they’re coming from; if you’re being stalked and mauled by a pack of sociopathic wolves I think you’d start to think about your existence. Anyway, it’s a thrilling movie. There’s no comedy or irony or a memorable quote; what it does is action and does it with aplomb. It’s about willpower and survival. And Liam fighting wolves. That’s it.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Tagged 2011, Action, Alaska, Cinema, Film, Liam Neeson, Movie, The Grey, Wilderness

Apr 19 2021

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Architecture, Building, Edinburgh, Photography, Scotland, Uncategorized

Edinburgh lockdown – week 57. This will never end.

Tagged Edinburgh, Images, Photography, Scotland, Snaps

Apr 18 2021

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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Goldeneye (1995) is the only 5/5 James Bond movie.

Because it’s not just a Bond film. It’s actually about something other than tropes and ticking boxes. I often hear the mantra, “Folk only love it because it ties in with the N64 game.” It’s a decent proposition for an argument but misses the point – the game is also amazing yet they don’t depend on each other.

Goldeneye (1995) is so well crafted, so correctly paced, so … frankly strange. The Eric Serra score is implausible yet it somehow works. Perhaps the gargantuan gap (world events) between 1989 and 1995 was for the best, because this picture at times even becomes about that End of History theme. And the villain is the only one you can take seriously in the entire cannon of Bonds. Everything 006 does seems plausible and he brings out the best in 007.

It’s a masterpiece.

Tagged Bond, Cinema, Film, Goldeneye, James Bond, Movie

Apr 17 2021

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Uncategorized

Oh, Marlon. The Best Interview Ever.

It defines Brando. And Cavett. They nail everything. I miss those days. Not that I was there.

Apr 14 2021

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Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) is the best way to end them.

A thrilling series comes to its end. The Lethal Weapon movies were just so good at balancing the action and the comedy, and the four of them represent the peak of the buddy-cop movie. This is the most fitting finale that they could have come up with; it winds the series down perfectly.

These are actual characters you know and have grown up with. They are strikingly real and the last chapter especially doesn’t downplay their ageing and the toils of time.

And to the epic fight scenes. It’s an overused saying that (‘EPIC’) but these really are. That fight to the death with Jet Li is shit-your-pants time.

There is no point making a fifth one; it would just waste the legacy.

Tagged 1998, Action, Buddy cop movie, Danny Glover, Film, Lethal Weapon 4, Martin Riggs, Mel Gibson, Richard Donner

Apr 12 2021

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Architecture, Britain, Edinburgh, Photography, Scotland, Uncategorized

Edinburgh lockdown – week 56. This will never end.

Tagged Edinburgh, Images, Photography, Photos, Snaps

Apr 08 2021

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Architecture, Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) is AWESOME.

An introduction to Wang Chung could not be scripted, but here we all are. It’s such a great movie to the extent that I am impressed with the soundtrack; the music choices are usually embarrassing with these pictures and I suppose the ’80s are mostly like that. Manhunter (1986) springs to mind as an example, a film that approaches implosion through the worst possible jukebox selections.

This oozes seductive style, Los Angeles a sun-blitzed glossy furnace of cops and criminals. Friedkin has, in spite of his occasional forays into turkeys, always understood the need to carve out a credible world for the narrative and impose a vision on the environment. So few directors appear to care for how their movies look; they are merely the point-and-shoot variety. This bloke, though, has a handle on the material. And the detail without being overbearing.

And the car chase in the film is another rarity; like Friedkin’s own The French Connection (1971), it’s backed up by actual character motivation. Apparently, one of the most recent Fast & Furious … things raked in a billion. The production cast and crew shut down half of Edinburgh a few years back with their silly antics. It will no doubt make a fortune, yet To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) recouped a pittance.

Audiences know nothing.