Category Archives: Uncategorized

Mar 24 2025
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Uncategorized

The Offence (1973).

The tackiest, most gimmicky slow-motion sequence opens this stagey, plodding bore of a time. It bombards you with the drab and dreary and seems to have no other purpose.

Connery is powerful as always, vulnerable and domineering both at once, but is wasted on a cruddy premise. And the camera ‘effects’ are so shoddy and unnecessary. It’s like a mediocre play but made even worse with superfluous shots which, rather than heighten the drama, merely draw attention to how dramatically damp everything is. 

Heard so much about this movie over the years, the main leitmotif being that it’s a hidden gem. It isn’t.

It’s shite.

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Mar 22 2025
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Art, Television, Uncategorized

Adolescence (2025). Derivative, boring, pointless. And massively popular.

Stephen Graham features, hence this trumpeted Netflix miniseries had to be given a whirl. 

The verdict: 

Most of the acting is cringe. The desk sergeant is one of the “goonies” from Dead Man’s Shoes (2004) and he has the thesp ability of Mickey Rourke doing an impression of Owen Wilson, but with a northern twang. This was an augury for the rest of proceedings.

The single take aims to go for a certain verisimilitude, I imagine, but it merely serves to elongate the stinky acting that could have been mollified through editing. But without the single take this would merely be another run-of-the-mill inner city crime drama. Which it is. 

So there’s no point to any of this gimmicky tripe other than it being concerned social commentary. That would be commendable, but then the psychobabble commences in episode three and there are entire scenes here lifted right out of Primal Fear (1996).

It’s total pish and I don’t get the hype. Not that I care too much to delve into the reasons for it.

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Mar 17 2025
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

The Driver (1978). Watch. Promptly repeat.

It’s certifiably COOL and immaculately framed, from a director who understands framing and why it matters. 

Ryan O’Neal is once again in a masterwork in which he’s the only actor you can envisage as the protagonist. No one else did impassive cool like him, and it’s even a cool that suggests dimensions behind the glacial exterior. His career never progressed beyond that ’70s apex because director’s didn’t use him properly, oblivious to the magnetism and effortless insouciance he could radiate within a narrow range.

You don’t need a surfeit of unnecessary dialogue in a movie this visual, which is what movies are, first and foremost. And the verbal exchanges may be minimal, but memorable, nonetheless. 

Why is this so stylish? It’s from 1978. Influential is the term. 

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Mar 06 2025
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Technology, Uncategorized, United States

Zero Day (2025).

Bobby De Niro in his first major TV role, with Jesse Plemons, the thespian formerly known as Meth Damon. I am embarrassed to report the embarrassing antics on display in this terrible miniseries.

It’s all about De Niro being infallible and imperious as the ex-Prez, our immaculately tailored Jack Bauer protagonist for 2025, an eager biographer relaying all the noble details of his presidency to the audience within 10 minutes of screen time. It’s lazy and dull, and the straw that broke this viewer’s back was our humble former chief’s speech at the rubble of an attack; it was like Bush with the bullhorn at Ground Zero, but suffused with your overbearing De Niro moralising.

This is mainly about Bobby trying to show everyone how to be presidential. I terminated the tripe right there, never to return.

Some reviewers are kind to the show. I’m sure it’s compelling if you can tolerate the grandstanding.

Pish.

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Feb 27 2025
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Uncategorized

American Manhunt: O.J. Simpson.

I’ve lost track of O.J. docs and dramas and docudramas of recent years.

But this is … spellbinding, which is perhaps not the most sensitive way to refer to the official Trial of the Century. 

Only in America could this creature get away with it.

Feb 24 2025
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Uncategorized

Woman of the Hour (2023).

This kind of nails the age – or how I imagine what this glitzy but grotty period was like. 

I do enjoy a wee slice of ’70s kitsch, even if it features creepy, sleazy men in their element. That and the obligatory strangler. It’s quite depressing viewing when you’re reminded of the media of bygone ages, three networks and no other alternate content. All folk did back in the day, it appears, was supinely plonk themselves in front of a box every evening like veggies, not a modicum of purpose in the endeavour. I’ve been there; I was a cabbage.

Any fool who appears on a game show has to be hampered with serious deep-seated issues, and this includes Ronald Reagan on ‘What’s my Line?‘. And on the serial killer stuff, never trust a stranger possessing the hair of Meat Loaf. 

Good movie.

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Feb 20 2025
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Uncategorized

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995).

I don’t care that Steven Seagal is a conceited asshole with zero acting talent, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) is a bloody great movie – funny, thrilling, and better than the first outing. This was when Sensei Seagal’s ego was bananas but could be justified through bone-crunching mayhem that was pulled off so well, you believe it when Casey Ryback doesn’t even get a scratch on him after 90 minutes of knife fights.

Not these days. He’s a fucking pie presently.

Bye for now.

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Feb 12 2025
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Art, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Slumdog Millionaire (2008).

This was okay but the hoopla and hysteria around it, encapsulated in some quite bonkers spunking on the flick at awards seasons, had me confused. 

I didn’t know it was a multiple Oscar winner, and I don’t know why. My conclusion here is that the Oscars are meaningless and movies aren’t judged outwith the the realm of the political, the contentious – trends trumping genuine art.

It’s a good movie, though. But it’s no masterpiece.

Jai Ho! 

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Jan 27 2025
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Art, Film, Uncategorized

Munich (2005).

Such a crap movie. 

Not a line of dialogue seemed blessed with, well … verisimilitude. It was aimless and politically everywhere and represents the worst version of Spielberg. He excels at sharks and dinosaurs and big fuck-off boulders. This was just muddled and all rather pointless.

The writing is very weak and the whole father-son bonding thing here with Michael Lonsdale and Eric Bana was embarrassing to watch and is the most annoying part of a most annoying motion picture.

Rubbish. 

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Jan 16 2025
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Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Out of the Furnace (2013). Sigh.

A remarkable cast wasted on this wholly unremarkable drivel, the script fished from the residue of 1,000 superior crime dramas. It was a mightily depressing watch, such is its tendency to wallow in muck, everyone in it a miserable bastard with complementary chip on shoulder. It’s also not even well made. I can see what it’s getting at – Rust Belt setting, forgotten communities, crime the only way out, etc. But it’s so identikit and dull and the whole thing is by the numbers. Stick on Killing Them Softly (2012) instead, similar themes but far superior writing.

Interestingly (barely), the makers were sued by an indigenous tribe negatively depicted in the movie.

My contention is that everyone involved in this should have been sued for it being so shite. 

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