Category Archives: Uncategorized

I personally find First Knight (1995) rather wondrous.

This is another vintage example of good cheese, which I define as cheese done good/well/correct. It is ludicrous at times but I respect its sincerity even if it’s accidentally pish. It’s very hard to make a movie from Arthurian legend that even registers into the realm of ‘realism’, and this bad boy completely jettisons all elements of magic which propel those fables into the otherworldly. They made an attempt. They failed, but it’s still wildly entertaining.

Firstly, I would like to confess that I think Richard Gere is a very good actor but only if he’s allotted a specific archetype, which conversely means he’s not much of an actor at all. He excels at playing himself. Here, he’s drowning. His ‘character’ is so ridiculous and flippant, I can’t think of a reason for Guinevere to even sniff him aside from his looks (which are considerable). It doesn’t make sense because she’s clearly above that kind of thing. It makes even less sense when you have Sean Connery as the love rival and he is by all accounts a universal fanny magnet. His Arthur is also sagacious, wise, humane, merciful. I could honestly write a better script than this.

It’s still great. You have an obstacle course straight out of the British TV show Gladiators (AWOOGA!), the casual appearance of Chris Finch from The Office, wonderfully choreographed swordplay, a plastic castle, and the ersatz Caesar haircut of Ben Cross. The weird thing is that you believe in the world on display. It somehow works in its insanity, a bit like Waterworld (1995), but less good.

I love a scintillating accidental shitter with good intentions.

This:

Rome (2005-2007) really should have been given another season.

It’s your classic HBO series that deals with the upper echelons and the gutter, the senate and the Aventine, Caesar, Pompey, Mark Anthony, Octavian – Roman Republic to Empire and buttressed perfectly by the characters Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo, these based on two centurions mentioned in Caesar’s Commentaries on the Gallic War. James Purefoy especially excels here as the dashing and charismatic Anthony. He’s Bond material (he did actually audition twice for the role and almost got it).

Rome doesn’t skirt from the depravity, the rituals and religious sacrifices of the era, and the creative use of naughty language is funny as hell. It succeeds so well at building a world and bringing that period to life, but these people also talk like we do; there’s none of this long-winded theatricality to the wordplay. The spectacle and ambition of the show is unrivalled for its time. The first season is nigh on perfection yet the second so very rushed; they were clearly tying everything together and trying to end the story in a satisfying way.

Apparently they just didn’t have the money to make any more of them which is a shame because it’s rather great.

And what an opening title sequence:

Further reading/viewing:

https://www.empireonline.com/tv/reviews/rome-season-1-review/

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The 1998 remake of Psycho (1960) might just be the most pathetic thing ever to have unfortunately been shat into the historical record.

Hated this. HATED IT.

Even when I was watching it I was consumed with 100% hatred.

Why does it exist? Like, what? I was lost for words at times. A near scene-for-scene, shot-for-shot remake of a movie that set a new benchmark for cinema. Psycho (1960) isn’t about horror; it’s an exercise in film syntax and narrative. The shower scene is a joke. I find the whole thing totally hilarious. It’s the most ‘self-aware’ film of all time.

This Gus Van Sant bloke doesn’t get it. I cannot stand his films – they are weak, preachy, stylistically anonymous – and I don’t wish to see one of his hideous endeavours ever again. I had a wee look at some of the contemporary reviews and this one had me howling: ‘Literary critic Camille Paglia commented that the only reason to watch it was “to see Anne Heche being assassinated”.’

She is just terrible. I mind she came out as a lesbian or something and then years later said she didn’t get roles because she ‘came out’ as a lesbian.

No one cares about your private life, pal. You just CAN’T ACT!

Fucking hell.

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Robin Hood Gardens gave me nightmares and I’ve only ever seen the photos.

Source: https://iconichouses.org/icons-at-risk/robin-hood-gardens

This has to be one of the ugliest and most depressing constructs I’ve ever seen. It defines ‘eyesore’. Some cursory research and I find it beguiling that this was once trumpeted as social housing magic, the architects banging on about it as a solution to societal ills. Architectural determinism is real, and this … thing completely disregards the ‘Eyes on the Street’ element to design as illuminated in Jane Jacobs’ masterful The Death and Life of Great American Cities.

It’s tragic how buildings like this happened.

This bloke, he nails it:

Further reading:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2010/dec/05/robin-hood-gardens-east-london

https://www.archdaily.com/tag/robin-hood-gardens

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The Counselor (or however the hell different folk spell it) needs counselling.

A truly ghastly, thoroughly horrible movie that I finally put myself through. I’d heard ominous things about it but figured it couldnt be that bad. Oh my, it’s fucking dire, an absolute train wreck of a film. Let me try and explain why in the shortest time possible: it’s shite. It consists entirely of schematic conversations without a modicum of interest or anything to do with the plot even on a metaphorical level. It takes itself way too seriously to the extent that even the occasional splatter of violence comes across as desperately pretentious.

Nothing in it made any sense and yet with every scene I could smell the smugness on display; I got the feeling that the cast thought they were in a peak Tarantino. So boring, so without merit, so painful to watch. Give me those actors and a mere £200,000 and I will make you a better film.

A few folk I know have said something along the lines of, “Oh, it’s Cormac McCarthy.” I have no idea who he is (I don’t read much fiction) but I can assure you that in the screenwriting realm he is on this display a talentless fellow who probably lives in a log cabin just for the existential kudos. And what in the hell happened to Ridley Scott? He seems to be dedicating himself to garbage these days. Someone needs to write him a decent script.

I hated this movie so much. It’s the worst I’ve seen in a LONG TIME.

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York Place, Edinburgh.

You stick a black-and-white filter on a bog-standard snap and it almost elevates the scene into something other than an iPhone image taken from the back of a freezing cold bus interior at 7:00 a.m.

Life hobbies.

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Gilmore Place, Edinburgh.

Not trying to blow my own Harold Bishop, but this has to be the most flattering photograph ever taken of Gilmore Place.

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