Tag Archives: Movie

The Other Side of the Wind (2018) is a calamity.

What is the point of this terrible movie? Allegedly, it has something to do with Orson Welles, but I see nothing of the master in this (I’m convinced he was taking the piss).

A wee knock-off Godardian thing, it has the pleasure of existing as the only Welles movie I have extinguished after 26 minutes. It felt like the makers behind Medium Cool (1969) had decided to ridicule their own aesthetic. It’s unwatchable, so carelessly shot and put together. Stick to Charlie Kane and Hank Quinlan.

Avoid this shite.

I have nothing else to say.

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The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022).

Even operatic in moments, this is beyond the ridiculous and enters into the realm of the post-surreal. I suppose one could call it a treatise on acting. Or just a Cage-Fest.

It’s simply … the most Cage that Cage has ever been. 

Which is a good thing. 

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Enduring Love (2004).

The acting from the leads wasn’t bad but the supporting cast – the usual stock array of minimally talented British actors – were just grating as hell every time they appeared, mostly at these ‘dinner parties’, blurting out the kind of dialogue that nobody in reality ever says. If it’s not a convincing milieu then I’m not taking the movie seriously, which wouldn’t be an issue aside from the fact it takes itself very seriously.

It all feels like a wasted opportunity given the striking opening scene, which is pretty much the premise and the poster. With a half-decent script and director, it could have been a contender (sorry). The thriller elements just weren’t necessary, and it would have been an infinitely better film if it dispensed with them by the 40-minute mark or completely, focusing instead on the trauma and survivor guilt.

Another pointless excursion into mediocrity.

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The Batman (2022).

The definite article annoys me. I don’t like it. At all. Anyway, the movie:

It’s all very well designed and shot. The music choices, from Nirvana to what sounds like a variation of ‘The Imperial March’ from The Empire Strikes Back (1980), are inspired, and a car chase respectfully lifted/stolen from To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) works as well as anything in the Batman canon.

You get to see the lad actually doing detective work, and the role of that nefarious news media we all know, think we need, and varyingly hate is given proper weight in the narrative. It drags a wee bit towards the end, but that’s to be expected with this fare. It’s … interesting. Not bad at all.

And Andy Serkis is a fabulous actor. He’ll most likely be canonised for Gollum and a raging gorilla, but he’s just as good as a human. Most actors are garbage yet succeed because of market forces. The bloke with the Gollum voice needs a leading role. 

If Seagal can make it, Gollum can. 

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The Last Seduction (1994).

What a cracker this is!

Bill Pullman just disappeared for a decade and a half, but here he is in his prime, a remnant from the James Stewart acting school of nonchalance. He really should have graduated to the role of troubled leading man, a jaded cop or something.

One would deem this an archetypal neo-noir, but your femme fatale here is the protagonist for once. The multi-faceted, polymathic, boozing, smoking, shagging, utterly obscenely ridiculous Linda Fiorentino running rings around every idiot she meets.

Marry me?

We also have J.T. Walsh and his sleazy voice.

And a jazz soundtrack that doesn’t feel like a desperate bolt-on feature.

Riot of a film.

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Mad Max: Fury Road (2015).

I wasn’t expecting much from this, the picture released decades after the last instalment. It smelled of a desperate reboot, and all the chatter of on-set discord (to put it lightly) between the leads wasn’t encouraging. But how stunning this movie turned out to be, a nonstop thrill-ride serving as the antidote to today’s CGI-laden borefests.

It looks like it was storyboarded to the max, and thank fuck as it’s expert spectacle. So many movies give the impression that the cinematographer and director never even discussed the visuals before the day’s shoot. Fury Road, however, defines … creative carnage.

I recommend the best way to view this treat is as a double bill with Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981). Fittingly, Roger Ebert’s review of the Mel Gibson classic captures the appeal of both:

‘What is the point of the movie? Everyone is free to interpret the action, I suppose, but I prefer to avoid thinking about the implications of gasoline shortages and the collapse of Western civilization, and to experience the movie instead as pure sensation. The filmmakers have imagined a fictional world. It operates according to its special rules and values, and we experience it. The experience is frightening, sometimes disgusting, and (if the truth be told) exhilarating. This is very skillful filmmaking, and “Mad Max 2” is a movie like no other.’

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Jarhead (2005).

Jarhead (2005) is one of most visually unmemorable good movies ever. It all looks lovely but entirely anonymous, solid craftsmanship rather than the captivating. I can’t recall a single striking shot; the poster leaves more of an impression than any of the images. Maybe this is the point – capturing the monotony of war. But is war really this boring? A dozen other movies say no.

It’s quite the riot, though, for the first hour, lots of lolz and a frenetic pace, an atmosphere that builds up to something that … never really happens. The early promise peters out and you just get repetition. Once again this may be the point. But what’s the point? This is a war movie, not an episode of Seinfeld. Watch Three Kings (1999) instead. It’s about something.

And Chris Cooper’s high billing for this annoyed me. He is barely in it and leaves little impression other than a weak imitation of Robert Duvall’s Colonel Kilgore.

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Hail, Caesar! (2016).

Hail, Caesar! (2016) feels both enamoured with and contemptuous of post-war ’50s Hollywood, revelling in the sleaze and skulduggery behind the charade as a nostalgia piece, whilst also informing us that it’s still how the edifice operates.

Eddie Mannix is flatteringly portrayed by Josh Brolin as a reluctant fixer plagued by Catholic guilt, but it works because of the sharks swimming around him. Brolin excels at these roles, capturing just the right combination of the smarmy and the sentimental. It’s a loose telling of events, as anything deeper would result in a murkier film.

As a pure comedy, it’s very funny. And every Hobie Doyle scene is hilarious. A snippet:

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The Guard (2011) is a majestic experience.

Every line of dialogue in this is funny, and the lines have a purpose. Not a single sentence is wasted. I’m reminded of a David Mamet play, but with a cinematic sensibility (a David Mamet film, then). It’s the chemistry between the two leads, however, which really makes the movie, the Don Cheadle’s grudging and then growing respect of the seemingly nonchalant Sergeant Boyle, who is way smarter than he looks and acts. “You know, I can’t tell if you’re really motherfuckin’ dumb or really motherfuckin’ smart.”

And the villains. Such banter:

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The Hunt (2020) is a prime example of a poster being better than the actual movie.

I think the pig makes it so. As for the film itself – embarrassing, desperate satire which was both highly irritating and puzzlingly boring at the same time.

Don’t waste your time on it.

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