Tag Archives: Movie

The Final Destination (2009).

The Final Destination (2009), and I don’t know what number this is in the series. I’ve lost track.

Despite being, well, shite, they are perverse and disturbing and addictive as you know something is going to happen to these highly annoying folk and they don’t. 

Ascribing all of the blood and guts to Death than merely to the accidents of the world gives the franchise a sadistic edge, especially considering how unsympathetic and irritating the ‘characters’ are.

Get the popcorn out. Forget the tissues. 

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Bad Santa (2003) is the ONLY Christmas movie.

It’s beyond hilarious and it would not be made today; there would be riots in the streets. And the sad thing is that this ‘statement’ is true.

It’s a movie so funny, it knows it’s funny and takes the piss out of how funny it is.

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Oppenheimer (2023).

As trailers go, this one had me at … title. You just know it’s going to be a tasty affair.

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Dalton was 1989’s Liam Neeson.

Let’s get the epic quote out the way first:

“One: never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: take it outside. Never start anything inside unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three: be nice.”

That’s a guide to life right there.

How to define a very good daft movie? It’s Road House (1989), the quotes ready-made for a dissertation, an ’80s tribute from the ’80s. And it’s so violently entertaining.

That Swayze mullet should be in a museum.

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The Wonder (2022).

The director here can direct like the bloke who constructed The Wicker Man (1973) can, and I’m not alluding to Nicolas Cage and “the bees”.

Quite the captivating drama this one, featuring the usual committee of elders/morons, the martyr lead, and your go-to religious allegories, but it’s done so well. It’s more watchable than Persona (1966), and definitely less irritating.

That’s it for the spoilers.

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Emancipation (2022).

It’s pointless. It’s boring. It’s a waste of your time.

Another bit of rubbish.

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Deck the Halls (2006). This is purgatory.

I’ve seen some shit (accidental alliteration) in my time but bloody hell, Deck the Halls (2006) takes the proverbial biscuit. 

I’ll just leave you with this from Richard Roeper:

“You can’t believe how excruciatingly awful this movie is. It is bad in a way that will cause unfortunate viewers to huddle in the lobby afterward, hugging in small groups, consoling one another with the knowledge that it’s over, it’s over, thank God, it’s over. Compared to the honest hard labor performed by tens of millions of Americans every day, a film critic’s job is like a winning lottery ticket. But there IS work involved, and it can be painful, and the next time someone tells me I have the best job in the world, I’m going to grab them by the ear, fourth-grade-teacher-in-1966-style, and drag them to see Deck the Halls.”

And that’s that.

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Cop Land (1997).

It’s the high expectations due to the extraordinary A-list cast that sort of let it down a bit. It’s no masterpiece, but it’s good. What’s lacking is a mood, a sense of you really being involved in proceedings. It’s just too workmanlike and clean, and lacks any sense of style. The cop-mob connections aren’t really illustrated, and there’s too much nebulous backstory between the characters.

However, it is acted as well as you’d expect, and even Stallone is fine in it, though his character could have had an edge to him, some shades of grey. The supporting cast are also stellar, and it was surreal seeing the T-1000 with a moustache. For all the considerable talent on display, Ray Liotta walks off with the movie, his conflicted Figgis shambling his way through the narrative, a guilt-ridden bad boy whom you’re never quite sure about until the denouement.

Nice poster, too.

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Another Round (2020).

Mads Mikkelsen should be in everything. Really, he should. Because he is awesome. His ending here (no spoilers) seemingly comes out of nowhere but the booze-infused Kelly/Donen … ripple was signposted all along.

This has a genuinely intriguing opening and the movie never lets up in its unpredictability. The four-character ensemble, lost in a listlessness of their own making, take an unorthodox and ludicrous premise and roll with it. Of chief concern here is the fun of the Devil’s buttermilk – teachers giddying around in a desperate attempt to recapturing a lost stage of development – but also the Dark Side. And it gets very dark, booze an outlet for a deeper malaise. 

The best tragicomedy I’ve seen in ages.

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Tremors (1990).

This movie is so mad and frankly ludicrous but it’s so well put together, acted, and for a movie about killer worms, actually well written. And what a pleasure it is to see the late, great character actor Fred Ward in a leading role. Why hadn’t I seen Tremors until now?

Superb.

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