Tag Archives: Images

The Lady from Shanghai (1947).

Few motion pictures from the oeuvre of Orson Welles can be presumed as being fully realised, such is the vivid literature of production chaos accompanying each project. We have anomalies in Citizen Kane (1941) and Touch of Evil (1958) – and this the 1998 re-release that celebrated technical whiz Walter Murch translated from Welles’ 58-page instructions. Every other movie from Welles is a mess, though usually a daring and admirable work.

The enfant terrible of a hundred biographies was indulged one time only; he seldom again had the money to finish productions, or manage them, or bring his visions to satisfactory fruition. It’s one of cinemas great tragedies and there are more than plenty. He exists in this liminal world of half-realised dreams, grandiose what-might-have-beens, stunted ambition, self-sabotage, a proclivity for playing Icarus.

And The Lady from Shanghai (1947)? It’s a hoot. Despite the confusing plot (probably by design), it is technically cutting edge, with Welles’ virtuoso camera taking us on a wild ride up there with the most lauded noirs of the era. A highly funny film that verges on self-parody, especially in the courtroom scenes, it’s as weird as a Welles movie gets.

Worth watching for his ‘Irish’ accent alone.

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Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005).

It’s less clunky, and not as downright annoying as Clones. Visually, it’s a joy to behold and Ian McDiarmid is having a laugh. But it’s bereft of invention, laughs, and those operatic and iconic moments that elevated the original trilogy above its matinee inspirations. 

Anakin is so weakly written that any actor would struggle with imbuing his transition to the Dark Side with any conviction. Painful viewing for all concerned. And only George Lucas could make Samuel L. Jackson boring. 

You’re left with the impression that the film’s sole purpose is to wrap everything up smoothly and lay the groundwork for A New Hope (1977), which is all quite pointless as no backstory is needed.

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BlacKkKlansman (2018).

Adam Driver is in most of his output a horrendously insufferable watch, but he’s good in this film. You don’t have to attempt to muster the minerals to take him seriously or put up with his Emo masquerade and he emerges as quite the comedian. 

It’s just a shame that in other flicks he appears to think he’s James Dean. 

A passable, occasionally amusing movie. 

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Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002).

Bad auguries from kickoff in the script department when a security guard (or whatever) emerges from a ship that’s just nestled on a landing pad and smugly announces, “We made it.”

You’re kidding me?! You just gave the impression you didn’t make it. 

What an unbridled farce it all is. But the dialogue especially is the worst of any Star Wars outing ever, characters unable to go 30 seconds without spitting nonsense or telling us what they are doing as if we are at the blind school, imperative piled upon imperative.

The editing is amateur hour. I sat incredulous, legit open-mouthed at most of the cutting choices – why Lucas cuts to another angle for no apparent reason, why he inexplicably holds a shot for an age after someone has finished speaking (gibberish).

And Yoda wielding a lightsaber is a sequence that belongs in a skip. All mystique was sucked from the green dwarf right there in a classic case of jumping the shark Yoda.

Oh, it’s a bloomin’ awful car crash of a flick and I watched it because there is something wrong with me. There’s a lot wrong with me. 

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Death of a Unicorn (2025).

An intolerable movie, this was a noisy affair, so unnecessarily loud, repetitive, wholly unimaginative, and just plain boring.

I hated it and hope you do too.

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Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994).

The Liam Neeson reboot is almost here as the teaser trailer has informed us, so this was an appropriate occasion to give the childish, immature, gleefully daft third entry in the Naked Gun trilogy another bash after a long hiatus. 

It’s funny as fuck and I have nothing else to add. 

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Maverick (1994).

What an enjoyable movie this is, the type that offers two hours of escapist fun with no baggage or pretensions. It’s nothing special and provokes zero thoughts that one would deem as being profound, but then it’s about poker and Mel Gibson’s con man act. Nothing wrong with it at all and when it concludes you’re a wee bit sad there’s no sequel.

That’s a mission accomplished.

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Anatomy of a Murder (1959).

“When I was overseas during the war, Your Honor, I learned a French word. I’m afraid that might be slightly suggestive.”

For 1959, this is one coarse, salacious movie, peppered with manky chit-chat and innuendo in a subtle but all-out disruption of the Hays Code, James Stewart’s folksy lawyer our champion. It’s an entirely provocative movie.

James Stewart meeting Lee Remick for the first time, Duke Ellington’s jazz score accompanying the lawyer’s stride, is almost like a soft-core porno scene. I burst out laughing at how self-aware and, well, funny it is. Genre convention is acknowledged and upended in this flick through the art of taking the piss, but it’s also just cool – cool to look at, listen to. Even the poster is cool. 

As courtroom dramas go, it grips for every minute. The instructive aspect of the picture ensures its continued significance as a spearhead in movies concerning the legal system, profession, and the court, the fallibility of the human element.

And Joseph Welch, who plays the avuncular but quietly authoritative judge, is the best judge I’ve ever seen in a movie and he wasn’t even an ‘actor’:

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Tombstone (1993) is the Val Kilmer Show.

It’s a one-in-a-million movie that shouldn’t exist. But it’s here … with us.

And it’s an utter riot, from Billy Zane with hair to Michael Biehn spouting Latin. It’s indeed a frenzy of quotes, with Val Kilmer’s lines more like witty sayings you gleefully take into life than the casual dialogue of his permanently plastered Doc Holliday.

A perfectly orchestrated yarn and the definitive O.K. Corral flick, it works as elegiac drama and pure entertainment. It’s the kind of Western Martin Scorsese would have made, such is the movie’s vibrancy and the finesse of the direction.

Kilmer is at his most weird and iconic here, his best ever performance. It’s so unlike anything else he did, and I can’t recall many other actors creating such an impression in a supporting role. You think of Doc Holliday, you see Val Kilmer in an instant. Alas, despite the mammoth career he had, it never quite matched his undoubted talent. 

His wee swansong in Top Gun: Maverick (2022) was a lovely, heartfelt touch from Cruise, but it’s sad to see. It’s taken on a greater resonance now.

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Disney madness.

Wee stroll around Haymarket, Edinburgh, and within two minutes I’m assaulted by an ad for Snow White (2025) emblazoned on the side of a manky bus to Wester Hailes, immediately followed by a vessel to East Craigs with a Cinderella panto gig (starring the redoubtable Grant Stott) draped beneath its windows. 

Meanwhile, a lad was carrying a rug over his shoulder into your generic ‘Men with Ven’ and I had Aladdin’s magic carpet in my head. 

My mind has been infected by corporations today.

It now functions as a low-rent Disney medley. 

Bye for now.

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