Tag Archives: Images

Sep 02 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Technology, Uncategorized

Cube (1997).

An initially gruesome watch in an almost delightful way but it ran out of steam.

A high-concept slice of manky that precursors the Saw franchise, it knows how to ramp up the claustrophobia, a motley company of strangers stuck in a booby-trapped cube of nasties.

Sadly, the characters end up biting the dust (either physically or as characters) just as they start to demand our interest/respect. They are second fiddle to the tension and contrivances that are unbearable at times and I’m guessing that was the point. 

It’s great for 45 mins. Sadly, it proceeds into the rubbish. Why are they in a cube? What was really happening? Why was I losing interest the longer this story went on? I wanted answers; I got none.

A cube does not warrant 90 mins. 

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Aug 31 2024
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Technology, Uncategorized, United States

Twisters (2024).

Several things about this movie annoyed me prior to watching it: it’s a reboot of a disaster flick that isn’t any good, it features that immensely vexing bloke from Top Gun: Maverick (2022), and I hate films about the weather – aside from Groundhog Day (1993), which is weather as MacGuffin.

Barrels resembling Quint’s annoyed me. It’s an opening wee scene and a protagonist introduces herself via one of these vlogs and there are barrels in the frame. At least be subtle in your references.

Dialogue was from the dustbin and I could predict almost every other line a character was about to say.

Some of it is good – the effects are splendid. There is at least chemistry between the leads. 

But one of the characters is the spitting image of Noah Tannenbaum from season three of The Sopranos, so this loses half a star. 

1.5/5. 

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Aug 26 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

10 Things I Hate About You (1999).

This is the perfect little gem and remarkably not stupid or annoying.

A genuinely witty high school comedy with a dazzling Heath Ledger, it belongs to that magical period in cinema that is 1999, a year of glory. The only shite thing about this film is that it’s just 90 mins long, and let’s ponder the miracle that both this and Cruel Intentions (1999) occupy the same space. 

It was 1999, though.

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Aug 25 2024
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

U.S. Marshals (1998).

It’s not The Fugitive (1993), but what could be? 

An entirely unnecessary sequel with no character development or anything approaching the battle of smarts that was Indiana Solo vs. Tommy Lee Jones, but it has a few thrills, and Robert Downey Jr. thankfully keeps his rote muttering shtick to a minimum.

And Tommy Lee Jones dresses up as a chicken for the purposes of law enforcement.

I’ve had worse viewing experiences. 

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Aug 19 2024
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Drop Zone (1994).

Another John Badham movie?! This bloke directed everything, your journeyman hack for hire. Talented, though. 

Here we have Wesley Snipes and the frankly barking Gary Busey in the same movie. It’s hokum but good for what it is. The action is splendid, and it just about makes up for a highly annoying performance from ‘90s resident oddball Michael Jeter. 

It’s also a shame what happened to Snipes as he’s a decent actor. 

It’s alright. Just don’t be expecting anything deep. 

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Aug 12 2024
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The Last Starfighter (1984).

I dreaded this viewing as it’s never a splendid idea to revisit a childhood classic.

Imagine my surprise upon enjoying this charming little flick. You know what I liked about it the most?

It isn’t shite.

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Aug 01 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Uncategorized

Highlander (1986).

A first viewing of this odd, quite daft, and extremely watchable slice of hokum. It’s the kind of script a wee kid would write, and it’s somehow a movie. The camera work was so ridiculous, outrageous in the angles.

The music is also the best kind of cheese. 

And Sean Connery has an earring.

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Jul 31 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Deadpool & Wolverine (2024).

Dragged to this and thoroughly did not like it.

Galling one-liners and self-referential in-jokes and dull characters constantly referencing they’re in a multiverse. What else? Superhero cameos galore, and fight scenes set to pop hits (how clever). And Ryan Reynolds and his inability to shut the fuck up for even 20 seconds. I suppose that’s the point, but his voice is too annoying to endure for a full movie.

I waited outside for the last half hour, so I don’t know how it ended.

And I don’t care.

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Jul 29 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, World War Two, WWII

Son of Saul (2015).

Aesthetically perfect movie with a protagonist’s tunnel vision style that works, an actual reasoning behind it – it’s the antithesis of the self-indulgent. Much more than a ‘noble’, culturally significant picture, it’s as honest with its brutality as you can get, and vice versa. It did recall for me One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, and uses all the tools of cinematic technique to tell a story so gripping, relentless, and powerful in its immediacy.

A searing portrait of Hell on Earth, this is not a film you’ll forget.

Proper art.

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Jul 27 2024
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Art, Cinema, Film, Uncategorized

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007). Help!

Elizabeth (1998), oh yes. I’d say masterpiece, a political thriller dressed up for marketing intentions as a costume drama, which it is.

This sequel? Oh, it was so BAD. It felt painful, my ears screeching and eyes gouged. This review cracked me up, though:

Michael Gove, MP and Minister/Secretary of Whatever: ‘It tells the story of England’s past in a way which someone who’s familiar with the Whig tradition of history would find, as I did, completely sympathetic. It’s amazing to see a film made now that is so patriotic … One of the striking things about this film is that it’s almost a historical anomaly. I can’t think of a historical period film in which England and the English have been depicted heroically for the last forty or fifty years. You almost have to go back to Laurence Olivier’s Shakespeare’s Henry V in which you actually have an English king and English armies portrayed heroically.’

That’s the worst review I’ve ever read. But the unintentional comedic elements of the writing trumps the movie.

It’s a horrible film. Writing this even depressed me.

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