Always thought Michael Bay was/is a phenomenal visual stylist and technical master – he just requires a good script.
Before he made Pearl Harbor (2001) he wasn’t just Mr. Hit & Miss, and The Island (2005) is a riot. The rest of his oeuvre is admittedly pish. And Ambulance (2022) is the last title for a film I’d imagine being made by the chieftain of mayhem. And fucking hell is it terrible.
It went on and on and on and on and an hour in it felt like the length of a David Lean picture but without any of the talent. This was ambulances, sirens, bullets, screeching, whizzing, more bullets, dreadful dialogue, shoddy acting, cop cars, choppers, more bullets, more noises, zero characterisation, and more noises. And all tied together with a jarring pointlessness, like, there is no bloody point to anything that happens. I’ve also experienced more captivating shites and once watched a French Bulldog lick its own balls and this was more absorbing than Ambulance.
I turned it off and then even gave up on the Wikipedia plot.
What a load of wank!

