The Tree of Life (2011).

I barely understand half of the stuff that went on but the movie somehow reaches an inexplicable transcendence in its last 30 minutes. I believe Terrence Malick is some kind of anomaly. He didn’t make a movie for two decades and now he’s putting out a picture every other year.

I’ll let Roger Ebert do the talking on this one:

‘Terrence Malick’s “The Tree of Life” is a film of vast ambition and deep humility, attempting no less than to encompass all of existence and view it through the prism of a few infinitesimal lives. The only other film I’ve seen with this boldness of vision is Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey,” and it lacked Malick’s fierce evocation of human feeling. There were once several directors who yearned to make no less than a masterpiece, but now there are only a few. Malick has stayed true to that hope ever since his first feature in 1973.’

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District 9 (2009). Crikey!

I stayed away from this for years. The title annoyed me in its seeming vagueness. I thought it was either about freejumping or a prison escape, neither of which I find particularly arresting.

Elysium (2013) brought me here. It’s a decent movie that doesn’t really fulfill its initial promise, and Jodie Foster’s dreadful impression of Christine Lagarde is just embarrassing (why did this happen?). But the wildly entertaining histrionics of Sharlto Copley were enough to lure me to District 9. He is mesmerising in it and his transformation into something resembling a human being (by weirdly becoming an alien) is a shocker. But it’s not just the out-of-nowhere star turn, it’s everything. The style – this may be the only time that a found-footage aesthetic works in a film – the action, the boldness with which the picture realises the potential of its premise and runs with it, how a Predator-lookalike alien can be a fully-fledged character.

District Six actually happened. It’s movies, aye, but they say art imitates life.

I should have seen this a decade ago. But I have no regrets. A 5/5 movie.

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The Last Crusade (1989). Oh my.

The chemistry between Ford and Connery is magical and even if the other components weren’t there, it would still be a memorable film because of the relationship. However, the prologue is still fabulous. Donovan’s ultra-ageing after sipping from the gold cup is still nightmare worthy. The action is still fast and inventive. It’s such a relentlessly entertaining yarn, and even the bad guys have something about them. The SS lad somehow rocked up in Braveheart (1995) and … of all things, Corrie Street as a member of the Gail Platt outfit. And Grange Hill’s Mr. Bronson plays Hitler here.

And Marcus got lost in his own museum.

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The Equalizer (2014) is bloody brilliant.

I mean, it’s bloody, as in baddies die and it’s graphic (which violence is). It’s Denzel doing his best Denzel; the opening sequence hilariously exposes his OCD by having the lad use a toothbrush to manicure his sneakers. You see him at work in a Walmart factory or whatever and he’s dedicated to the job. You get the feeling he’s hard as nails, though. And he turns out to be in the most Denzel way feasible.

The antagonist has a personality and is interesting; this is a rarity in the current action-thriller landscape. The soundtrack/score also works.

And Denzel utilises a nail gun.

Also, I’ve never seen the Edward Woodward TV show. It’s too late now to bother with it.

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Alexander (2004) the not-so-great.

I’ve been on quite the Oliver Stone binge of late and it was inevitable that I arrived at a certain disaster. This is a complete train wreck of celluloid.

The accents are all over the place, for some unfathomable reason Macedonians from antiquity possessing Irish, Scottish, and Russian dialects. And dreadful ones at that.

The film is rammed, at the expense of drama and thrills, with pointless tactical information about the battles on display. In the nauseatingly constructed Battle of Gaugamela, Stone keeps cutting to an eagle surveying the scene. It’s a mad decision and I recall half the cinema howling at the time. There’s another bit with Alexander taking on an elephant and it is hilarious. The film apparently has like 18,000 different ‘Director’s Cuts’. They will all be shite, I guarantee you.

A nuts and utterly unwatchable motion picture. How can you make one of the greatest military commanders and statesmen in history so irrevocably boring? This movie achieves that impossible feat.

You honestly need to see it to believe it.

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I came quite late to the party that is Something Wild (1986).

Ray Liotta has always looked both young and old at the same time, which is a hard act to do. Even in his thirties he appeared both 50 and 18. He’s had a very good career but lacks that marquee performance; Goodfellas (1990) isn’t really an astounding acting job because he’s unchanged throughout and overshadowed by you-know-who. Unlawful Entry (1992) is a trashy corker but Something Wild (1986) is strangely peak Liotta even though he’s just getting started. Also, I’ve seen Narc (2002) twice and don’t think much of it.

He is scary in this. It’s so rare to see an actor pull off scary but he is that, like Willem Dafoe as Bobby Peru.

The movie seamlessly tap-dances between genres, and the (very real) violence never appears out of place amidst the comedy. It reminded me of Grosse Pointe Blank (1997), which is fitting as that undoubted masterpiece is an ’80s throwback. This film felt like it could go anywhere at any moment, a freewheeling adventure. And it was. The unpredictable is hard to design or even pull off in fiction.

Fantastic.

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