No description necessary.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022).
The first one I recall was a highly entertaining bit of hokum, a Cluedo for the big (small) screen, but a trilogy of them?
The positives: Dave Bautista is a rarity, a wrestler who can act, Ed Norton is flawless as always, and Craig is perfectly fine in the role. He’s better suited (no pun intended) to this fare than Bond. He’s a camp Columbo and great at it.
I cannot stand the term ‘disrupter’. Imagine calling yourself that. These fuckers get deservedly mocked here.
Negatives: I had to watch it over the course of three days, such was my complete indifference to any of these ‘disrupters’ and any crime committed. It’s boring and I was bored.
And I don’t know who Elon Musk is. True story.
Mulholland Drive (2001) is Angela Badalamenti’s “wow!”.
He was a bit unheralded, and he’s done more than Lynch collaborations, but this is the masterwork, a nightmarish descent into darkness. 1:40 in:
The Final Destination (2009).
The Final Destination (2009), and I don’t know what number this is in the series. I’ve lost track.
Despite being, well, shite, they are perverse and disturbing and addictive as you know something is going to happen to these highly annoying folk and they don’t.
Ascribing all of the blood and guts to Death than merely to the accidents of the world gives the franchise a sadistic edge, especially considering how unsympathetic and irritating the ‘characters’ are.
Get the popcorn out. Forget the tissues.
Bad Santa (2003) is the ONLY Christmas movie.
It’s beyond hilarious and it would not be made today; there would be riots in the streets. And the sad thing is that this ‘statement’ is true.
It’s a movie so funny, it knows it’s funny and takes the piss out of how funny it is.
Oppenheimer (2023).
As trailers go, this one had me at … title. You just know it’s going to be a tasty affair.
Dalton was 1989’s Liam Neeson.
Let’s get the epic quote out the way first:
“One: never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: take it outside. Never start anything inside unless it’s absolutely necessary. And three: be nice.”
That’s a guide to life right there.
How to define a very good daft movie? It’s Road House (1989), the quotes ready-made for a dissertation, an ’80s tribute from the ’80s. And it’s so violently entertaining.
That Swayze mullet should be in a museum.
The Wonder (2022).
The director here can direct like the bloke who constructed The Wicker Man (1973) can, and I’m not alluding to Nicolas Cage and “the bees”.
Quite the captivating drama this one, featuring the usual committee of elders/morons, the martyr lead, and your go-to religious allegories, but it’s done so well. It’s more watchable than Persona (1966), and definitely less irritating.
That’s it for the spoilers.
Emancipation (2022).
It’s pointless. It’s boring. It’s a waste of your time.
Another bit of rubbish.
Deck the Halls (2006). This is purgatory.
I’ve seen some shit (accidental alliteration) in my time but bloody hell, Deck the Halls (2006) takes the proverbial biscuit.
I’ll just leave you with this from Richard Roeper:
“You can’t believe how excruciatingly awful this movie is. It is bad in a way that will cause unfortunate viewers to huddle in the lobby afterward, hugging in small groups, consoling one another with the knowledge that it’s over, it’s over, thank God, it’s over. Compared to the honest hard labor performed by tens of millions of Americans every day, a film critic’s job is like a winning lottery ticket. But there IS work involved, and it can be painful, and the next time someone tells me I have the best job in the world, I’m going to grab them by the ear, fourth-grade-teacher-in-1966-style, and drag them to see Deck the Halls.”
And that’s that.
Wanderings and ... wonderings. 