Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Many Saints of Newark (2021).

This was surprisingly very good. I was expecting a desperate prequel but it had a purpose behind it and was about something, giving a credible background to Tony Soprano and the wider historical environment of the Mafia in their heyday. It is occasionally thrilling and unpredictable and though it’s nothing really like The Sopranos in tone (no psychoanalysis or dream sequences), it revels in characterisation.

The only thing about it that really annoyed me were the two shoddy acting jobs by the actors playing Paulie Walnuts and Silvio Dante. It was something out of Saturday Night Live but a particularly bad episode.

But overall, a pleasant surprise, and it reminded me a little bit of A Bronx Tale (1993).

And this has one hell of an ending. I recommend.

Gran Torino (2008). Don’t mess with Clint (or his car).

Clint – we all go by first-name basis with the living legend (LL) – has perfected the ultimate grizzled angry old man with latent empathy. He long ago (even as early as the late ’70s) mastered fading masculinity and here especially he is thoroughly believable because of the asshole that he is. I’ve read many times that he goes for the ‘PC brigade’. I really don’t think he does; he’s just making movies about what he knows, the type of characters he does best, and he simply runs with his instincts as a filmmaker. He’s not exactly going to star in or direct a sequel to The Birdcage (1996).

He is extremely funny here, and the jokes don’t come from the racial slurs; it’s the fact he’s this hard-as-nails old geezer and no one in the movie either expects it nor can handle it.

“Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while who you shouldn’t have fucked with? …. That’s me.”

He’s quite hit and miss as a director, but when he stars in a film, or one of his own, it’s usually very good.

He must be pushing 100 now. He’s incredible.

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This bloke was/is both Han and Indy. Which is some statement.

Ford created the art of ‘non-acting acting’. In everything he’s effortless. Everything is effortless. He’s incapable of a bad performance. Even when he’s in a shitter he’s still interesting, … even if he doesn’t look interested.

A self-effacing lad, a proper hero. He apparently even lives on a ranch and flies planes. He probably built his own house because he can do anything.

Jesus was a carpenter. And so is Harrison Ford.

48 Hours (1982). The best.

This is just great, the original and best buddy cop flick. And the best casting, Nolte and Murphy with a rapport never equalled in this genre. This was peak Murphy, a time when he could do no wrong. The bit when he lights up the country and western bar is quite simply … awesome. Everything works, in fact. The carnage, the score, the story, the setting.

What else have I missed? Oh, James Remar. For once, you’ve got a bad guy who is actually scary and just slightly unhinged. He’s a very bad dude.

As an action comedy, it’s numero uno.

28 Weeks Later (2007) is rather scary.

It’s when Begbie goes zombie-Begbie and becomes a raging, snarling contagion, spreading the virus in the safe room in what is quite possibly the most terrifyingly claustrophobic sequence ever put on film.

And then immediately after this a certain Stringer Bell therefore decides to shoot them all.

It’s better than its precursor. Much better, and this is despite it getting a bit too silly towards the end. And I have no interest in the undead genre.

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No Time To Die (2021) is utter rubbish. Don’t waste your time on it.

I didn’t think much of Casino Royale (2006), I’ve forgotten everything about Quantum of Solace (2008), couldn’t stand Skyfall (2012), and hated Spectre (2015) mainly because it somehow made boring the considerable talents of his preeminence Herr. Christoph Waltz. I don’t mind Daniel Craig as an actor but he’s nothing special. My main gripe against these silly movies, though, is that they are so in awe of Jason Bourne it’s embarrassing. They are incapable of being Bond and feel the need to ape the zeitgeist.

So, I suppose I came into No Time To Die (2021) with an open mind when I saw it yesterday with the usual alcopop smörgåsbord tucked under my cardigan.

My thoughts:

It’s so annoyingly crap. It dragged on and on and on, and I fell asleep for what I think was 30 minutes. The first hour was actually decent, Ana de Armas’ cameo easily the highlight. She injects so much unpredictable energy into proceedings that she makes the rest of the prosaic elements on display to be of no consequence. And jarringly, it feels like her vignette is from another movie; it stinks of a reshoot and a different writer hired a year after the first cut.

And the villains – all four of them – were a snore, one generic cardboard nonentity after another, with Waltz wasted yet again. A full saggy middle consists of all the players explaining the convolutions of the plot to the audience. And sadly, there is zero chemistry between Bond and the Léa Seydoux character; she’s a thoroughly talented actor but has more of a glacial appeal better suited to French arthouse cinema than a Bond movie. She looks decidedly uninterested throughout proceedings.

Even more vexing, the film has the desperation to resort to appropriating a song from one of the only few Bond movies worthy of a repeat viewing. The action is thrilling, but so what? If that’s what you judge a movie on then I can watch 50 other more captivating motion pictures, from vintage John Woo in his Hong Kong heyday to peak Paul Greengrass.

No Time To Die is tiresome and tedious and relentlessly pointless.

Brace yourself for the next shite adventure.

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I wish I’d turned off The Village (2004).

I saw it in the cinema and thought it was brilliant! This is why we don’t go back.

This movie is so terrible that even at the 28-minute stage I was gasping for it to expire. A Council of Elders, ‘evil creatures’ lurking in the woods. It’s the most obvious and worst premise and metaphor ever, and so boring. The twist ending barely bothered me as much as the preceding nonsense leading up to it. I’ve read contemporary reviews lauding the film’s treatment of the Iraq War. Are these critics on drugs?

Speaking of which, I would have bolted from the entire 19th-century scheme like Gump on a combo of Red Bull, Monster, Relentless, and crystal meth.

“Those We Don’t Speak Of”? I’d like to never again speak of this movie.

Pish.

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Tokyo flashbacks are the best flashbacks.

A big fuck-off building somewhere in a futuristic metropolis.

‘Tagged’ in one of those ‘memories’ things yesterday on one of our omniscient social media platforms. This snap entered the lexicon a good half a decade ago. How time flies.

The best adventure (thus far) with the holiday lads. Absolute carnage twinned with culture. Tokyo is an extraordinary place to see and experience. In no other country have I felt as if I were on another planet. It’s old and new, a hundred years ahead yet still The Last Samurai (2003). Imagine coming home to Gorgie (Edinburgh semi-ghetto) after this esoteric sojourn.

Japan, I will see you again. But not yet. Not yet. We’re (‘The Unit’) going back, though. And this photo took an hour. I had to sit down afterwards. It’s all about the little details.

P.S. I obscure faces because I know how the world works.

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Christian Bale goes FULL-BRANDO in The Fighter (2010).

He’s off the charts in this, he really is. It’s the most self-effacing acting job in years. He defines scumbag ‘junkie’ but by the end you realise the bloke does have a heart and everything he does is for a reason, though he usually fucks it up. It’s a redempton story and one of the best because it’s REAL.

That last fight scene is the damage. It’s drama and technique. And it actually happened.

Let the clips commence!

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1917 (2019) irritated me beyond belief.

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Finally got around to seeing this having missed it on the big screen. Netflix would have to make do as it usually does these days. I suppose movies like this demand the theatre experience, but I’m not waiting a decade for a one-off re-release.

Cinema concerning The Great War is understandably not omniscient as affairs regarding WWII are. The former conflict as seen by contemporary historiography (at least on the Western Front) is more static, more simple, with less of a political and civilian dimension. There are exceptions in cinema – Kubrick’s Paths of Glory (1957), Lawrence of Arabia (1962), The White Ribbon (2009), but there are only a handful ever worth watching again.

I couldn’t stand this movie.

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It’s appalling acting from many on display. The main bloke is good but the rest are phoning it in. There are so many annoying cameos from marquee actors who appear merely to boost the star names on the poster.

Bizarrely, it seldom feels like anything is at stake; I wasn’t bothered about any of the developments. One of the bloodiest and destructive conflicts in history is reduced to a bloodless, frankly boring episode which never once feels real or sincere. And as for the ‘one shot’ USP, it’s nothing more than a gimmick. But then a moment happens when it stops being a sequence shot by cutting to black, which negates the so-called perfectionism of the preceding exercise. It’s pointless.

And a lonely French woman makes an appearance, and she proceeds to shelter the protagonist. No cliché unturned.

Stick to Paths of Glory (1957).

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