Category Archives: Uncategorized

Aug 03 2022
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Uncategorized, United States

The Other Side of the Wind (2018) is a calamity.

What is the point of this terrible movie? Allegedly, it has something to do with Orson Welles, but I see nothing of the master in this (I’m convinced he was taking the piss).

A wee knock-off Godardian thing, it has the pleasure of existing as the only Welles movie I have extinguished after 26 minutes. It felt like the makers behind Medium Cool (1969) had decided to ridicule their own aesthetic. It’s unwatchable, so carelessly shot and put together. Stick to Charlie Kane and Hank Quinlan.

Avoid this shite.

I have nothing else to say.

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Jul 30 2022
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022).

Even operatic in moments, this is beyond the ridiculous and enters into the realm of the post-surreal. I suppose one could call it a treatise on acting. Or just a Cage-Fest.

It’s simply … the most Cage that Cage has ever been. 

Which is a good thing. 

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Jul 27 2022
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Britain, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Enduring Love (2004).

The acting from the leads wasn’t bad but the supporting cast – the usual stock array of minimally talented British actors – were just grating as hell every time they appeared, mostly at these ‘dinner parties’, blurting out the kind of dialogue that nobody in reality ever says. If it’s not a convincing milieu then I’m not taking the movie seriously, which wouldn’t be an issue aside from the fact it takes itself very seriously.

It all feels like a wasted opportunity given the striking opening scene, which is pretty much the premise and the poster. With a half-decent script and director, it could have been a contender (sorry). The thriller elements just weren’t necessary, and it would have been an infinitely better film if it dispensed with them by the 40-minute mark or completely, focusing instead on the trauma and survivor guilt.

Another pointless excursion into mediocrity.

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Jul 23 2022
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Architecture, Art, Cinema, Crime, Fantasy, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

The Batman (2022).

The definite article annoys me. I don’t like it. At all. Anyway, the movie:

It’s all very well designed and shot. The music choices, from Nirvana to what sounds like a variation of ‘The Imperial March’ from The Empire Strikes Back (1980), are inspired, and a car chase respectfully lifted/stolen from To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) works as well as anything in the Batman canon.

You get to see the lad actually doing detective work, and the role of that nefarious news media we all know, think we need, and varyingly hate is given proper weight in the narrative. It drags a wee bit towards the end, but that’s to be expected with this fare. It’s … interesting. Not bad at all.

And Andy Serkis is a fabulous actor. He’ll most likely be canonised for Gollum and a raging gorilla, but he’s just as good as a human. Most actors are garbage yet succeed because of market forces. The bloke with the Gollum voice needs a leading role. 

If Seagal can make it, Gollum can. 

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Jul 20 2022
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States

The Last Seduction (1994).

What a cracker this is!

Bill Pullman just disappeared for a decade and a half, but here he is in his prime, a remnant from the James Stewart acting school of nonchalance. He really should have graduated to the role of troubled leading man, a jaded cop or something.

One would deem this an archetypal neo-noir, but your femme fatale here is the protagonist for once. The multi-faceted, polymathic, boozing, smoking, shagging, utterly obscenely ridiculous Linda Fiorentino running rings around every idiot she meets.

Marry me?

We also have J.T. Walsh and his sleazy voice.

And a jazz soundtrack that doesn’t feel like a desperate bolt-on feature.

Riot of a film.

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Jul 02 2022
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Technology, Uncategorized

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015).

I wasn’t expecting much from this, the picture released decades after the last instalment. It smelled of a desperate reboot, and all the chatter of on-set discord (to put it lightly) between the leads wasn’t encouraging. But how stunning this movie turned out to be, a nonstop thrill-ride serving as the antidote to today’s CGI-laden borefests.

It looks like it was storyboarded to the max, and thank fuck as it’s expert spectacle. So many movies give the impression that the cinematographer and director never even discussed the visuals before the day’s shoot. Fury Road, however, defines … creative carnage.

I recommend the best way to view this treat is as a double bill with Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981). Fittingly, Roger Ebert’s review of the Mel Gibson classic captures the appeal of both:

‘What is the point of the movie? Everyone is free to interpret the action, I suppose, but I prefer to avoid thinking about the implications of gasoline shortages and the collapse of Western civilization, and to experience the movie instead as pure sensation. The filmmakers have imagined a fictional world. It operates according to its special rules and values, and we experience it. The experience is frightening, sometimes disgusting, and (if the truth be told) exhilarating. This is very skillful filmmaking, and “Mad Max 2” is a movie like no other.’

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Jun 29 2022
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States

Jarhead (2005).

Jarhead (2005) is one of most visually unmemorable good movies ever. It all looks lovely but entirely anonymous, solid craftsmanship rather than the captivating. I can’t recall a single striking shot; the poster leaves more of an impression than any of the images. Maybe this is the point – capturing the monotony of war. But is war really this boring? A dozen other movies say no.

It’s quite the riot, though, for the first hour, lots of lolz and a frenetic pace, an atmosphere that builds up to something that … never really happens. The early promise peters out and you just get repetition. Once again this may be the point. But what’s the point? This is a war movie, not an episode of Seinfeld. Watch Three Kings (1999) instead. It’s about something.

And Chris Cooper’s high billing for this annoyed me. He is barely in it and leaves little impression other than a weak imitation of Robert Duvall’s Colonel Kilgore.

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Jun 15 2022
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Film, Movie, Uncategorized

The Hunt (2020) is a prime example of a poster being better than the actual movie.

I think the pig makes it so. As for the film itself – embarrassing, desperate satire which was both highly irritating and puzzlingly boring at the same time.

Don’t waste your time on it.

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May 28 2022
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Donnie Darko: The Director’s Cut (2004). Why, oh why?

I’ve always said that Donnie Darko (2001) is a tad overrated, and its soundtrack a big role in the movie’s appeal. However, it is a very good motion picture, one with just the right amount of ambiguity and tension to keep it captivating all the way to the end credits. It balances so many different genres and themes, that for a first-time director its remarkable.

Imagine my horror upon accidentally watching the ‘Director’s Cut’. Verily, I was mortified. It started from the get-go, Echo & the Bunnymen’s ‘The Killing Moon’ replaced by INXS’ ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ for the iconic bike ride home. Initially, I thought I was in the throes of one of these ‘fan edits’ that do the rounds. But nah, these are conscious, completely sober adjustments made by the director. Even worse, the bloke inserts title cards before or after confusing (for some) scenes, explaining what is happening.

He can of course do whatever he wants with his own creation, but come on, man. I can’t think of a single reason why the bloke would commit this (art) crime other than boredom or an addiction to needless tinkering. Anyway, I’ll forgive him once I view the only version again.

And that’s that.

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Apr 28 2022
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Uncategorized

Pitch Black (2000).

Another first viewing – I’m on a quest to get my money’s worth from Netflix.

I wasn’t expecting anything from this but I was quite disturbingly surprised by how much I liked it. I’ve never had much time for Vin Diesel, his silly fast car flicks and muscle flaunting, the daft yarns with their terrible scripts. But here I found an interesting, thoroughly likeable and complex character I wished to share the journey with. It’s a glimpse at a career that never was, and I won’t watch another film he’s in because the lad can’t possibly top Riddick.

The movie was as generic as it comes and I won’t revisit it, but the 90 mins were killed and I chuckled a wee bit.

It’s an intriguing accidental portrait of an actor at a crossroads.

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