This was almost captivating for 15 minutes and might have presented itself as a candidate for entrance into decent short movie territory.
But it was shite. 50 mins in, it was starting to descend into being even worse than shite, which isn’t pleasant, really.
So I turned it off.
Billed as Gary Oldman and some apes, this mostly entails having to watch the insufferable Jason Clarke and his begging antics at the feet of simians. It’s an okay movie despite this monumental bore of an actor.
I turned it off at 64 minutes. I couldn’t see it getting any better and frustration was starting to kick in.
The hairy fellows aren’t much different from denizens of certain areas of Edinburgh. The difference here is that the chimps can speak properly.
What a talented director this lad can be.
I didn’t know he was from Belfast and always assumed he was born in the Old Vic, such are the depths of his Shakespeare.
Decent movie. Nothing in it annoyed me.
It wasn’t rubbish. And that’s all that matters.
In almost everything, he quietly steals the show. No histrionics or chewing the scenery, but an impeccable talent to convince in every role – mob boss, downtrodden miner, creepy CIA handler. I suppose that’s acting. He excelled at projecting an inscrutable authority, rarely perturbed, but you can see that he’s seething.
Go-to performance, a remarkable gig in Todd Field’s quite brilliant In the Bedroom (2000):
Watching this hugely entertaining binge-ripe trash, I was always aware of Scream‘s Randy Meeks’ assertion that “Everybody’s a suspect!”. And they are, with the red herrings and reverse cul-de-sacs. Who can you trust? No one. Who is likeable? A few, but they’re probably dirty.
Cluedo on steroids, it’s very well acted for what is essentially the TV equivalent of a sordid airport page-turner, even if it’s another gruelling example of the ‘Americanisation of conversation’. Example:
“Come on, Maya.”
“What, Eddie?”
“You’re not yourself, Maya.”
“I’m fine, Eddie.”
And Brendan Brady from Hollyoaks is in it.
Harvey Keitel and Peter O’Toole in the same movie piqued my interest, and it’s all innocent and charming enough, the fairies a countryside escapism from the horrors of late modernity, WWI ruining the illusion for everyone.
It should be far more engrossing but it isn’t and just ends up being awfully British – rudimentary camerawork, score from a Sunday church service, barely competent actors who’ve littered a hundred other mediocre British films.
Why I’m being so harsh on such a nothing movie aimed at kids I don’t know.
That’s enough for today.
Sometimes in life you watch a movie and as you partake in this activity, you ask: “Why does this film exist? Why am I watching this?”
And that’s Get Carter (2000), the stinky remake of the fabled classic.
I know folk on the dole who could make a better film, merely by instinct.
Stupid, pointless, boring, and in moments exceptionally entertaining.
Just think, Thermopylae happened once. And this is the most arty result, its cinematic legacy. Was it worth it?
You have Jimmy McNulty in robes.
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This had auguries of pish for me.
I’m sick to near-death of the zeitgeist high-concept apocalyptic horror/domestic drama crossover, the current trend kicking about the last few years consisting of 20-odd stinkers from the bargain bin somehow featuring proven talent.
Ethan lets strangers into his home and they couldn’t act more dodgy. There is no reason to grant them entry but I suppose the plot has to happen. I turned it off after this. I’m not watching another one of these obvious metaphorical home invasion yarns again.
I looked through the plot summary after the 16-minute viewing of torture. Was that it? Is this how easy it is to get a shite script made?
Just a horrible wee pointless film and everyone involved should be ashamed.
My film pitch: a financially burdened middle-class family move into an Anderson shelter due to financial woes, and externally there is a civil war kicking off, but the youngest child isn’t interested as he/she/them/it is too engulfed in the pleasures of the mobile phone. Some super-smart badgers invade the garden and try and take over the realm.
^Put a ‘star’ in that and it would be made.
It’s not that bad, but it is rubbish. My advice to anyone new to these films is to just pretend the third one doesn’t exist, that it didn’t happen.
It was never even made.
Wanderings and ... wonderings. 