Category Archives: Technology

Twisters (2024).

Several things about this movie annoyed me prior to watching it: it’s a reboot of a disaster flick that isn’t any good, it features that immensely vexing bloke from Top Gun: Maverick (2022), and I hate films about the weather – aside from Groundhog Day (1993), which is weather as MacGuffin.

Barrels resembling Quint’s annoyed me. It’s an opening wee scene and a protagonist introduces herself via one of these vlogs and there are barrels in the frame. At least be subtle in your references.

Dialogue was from the dustbin and I could predict almost every other line a character was about to say.

Some of it is good – the effects are splendid. There is at least chemistry between the leads. 

But one of the characters is the spitting image of Noah Tannenbaum from season three of The Sopranos, so this loses half a star. 

1.5/5. 

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Monk.

Informing everyone that Monk is now on Netflix and it isn’t shite.

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Ripley (2024). Excellent.

The cinematic travails of Tom Ripley have given us the quite barking The American Friend (1977), The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999), and the little-seen Ripley’s Game (2002) – a multifarious holy trilogy of sorts linked by the amoral antihero. I have not seen Purple Noon (1960), nor the Barry Pepper number. And what the fuck happened to that actor? He was on the cusp but now operating in the AWOL stakes.

And this TV first, it’s exceptional, a throwback continental thriller with vistas galore. Ripley epitomises the self-effacing weasel; you need to watch out for these creeps for they lurk in the shadows.

It’s a 5/5 from me and I couldn’t find a flaw in it.

And Patricia Highsmith used to smuggle snails through airport customs ….

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Last Action Hero (1993).

It’s okay if all over the place with a jarringly inconsistent tone – too violent but not violent enough, it’s half a kids’ movie, half Lethal Weapon, which doesn’t work. Maybe they should have just stuck with the one genre or infused it with more magic, the escapism of the movie theatre and all that.

Spot the cameo helps pass the two-hour running time, and it has its moments when you think it could be relaxing into a movie that goes somewhere. But it doesn’t.

It’s stupid. But it’s not stupid-stupid. At least you get two Arnies for the price of one in this hit-and-miss deconstruction of action cinema. 

Good poster.

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The Lawnmower Man (1992). Brace yourself.

A.K.A. Rain Man with a Jeff Daniels Dumb and Dumber (1994) haircut indulges in some video games and all hell breaks loose.

This was so fucking atrocious, like … a verified stinker. It has some good ideas (for its era) going for it, but it’s just too unintentionally funny to not be godawful. It’s a right crapper that takes itself seriously, so seriously. Probably the only bad David Cronenberg flick not directed by David Cronenberg.

Pierce thinks he’s onto a winner here. The movie made quite the sum and most likely paved a road for Brosnan to be the (not deserved) victim of Mrs. Doubtfire’s exemplary fruit chucking, and then the Greatest Bond of All Time, so there is that ….

And Hank from Breaking Bad is here.

Not with a lawnmower.

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U-571 (2000).

It is tremendously well made, never boring, nothing special, and no Das Boot (1981), but what ever could be? 

And I have no idea what happened to Jon Bon Jovi in this movie, or why he is in it. 

It’s a mystery but not that much of a mystery that I will commence an investigation.

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World War II: From the Frontlines (2023).

No revelations but the footage is immense.

It’s not The World at War (1973); it’s you experiencing the war as much as is possible from your sofa.

And the voice of Orson Welles makes an appearance.

Annihilation (2018).

I spent most of this intriguing movie wondering at what point the twist was going to occur or when the deus ex machina would reveal it all to be the figment of the protagonist’s imagination. It put me off fully enjoying the thrills as I was permanently searching for the clues. Maybe it would have worked better as just sheer hokum but there’s plenty of that around.

The bickering between the leads is tedious but the script needs to reach its finale, so you have to endure these non-characters argue away. But this aside, you’re not quite sure what’s going on and the momentum helps you stay involved.

Decent action with some thought-provoking ideas.

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Fool Me Once (2024).

Watching this hugely entertaining binge-ripe trash, I was always aware of Scream‘s Randy Meeks’ assertion that “Everybody’s a suspect!”. And they are, with the red herrings and reverse cul-de-sacs. Who can you trust? No one. Who is likeable? A few, but they’re probably dirty.

Cluedo on steroids, it’s very well acted for what is essentially the TV equivalent of a sordid airport page-turner, even if it’s another gruelling example of the ‘Americanisation of conversation’. Example:

“Come on, Maya.”

“What, Eddie?”

“You’re not yourself, Maya.”

“I’m fine, Eddie.”

And Brendan Brady from Hollyoaks is in it.

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FairyTale: A True Story (1997).

Harvey Keitel and Peter O’Toole in the same movie piqued my interest, and it’s all innocent and charming enough, the fairies a countryside escapism from the horrors of late modernity, WWI ruining the illusion for everyone.

It should be far more engrossing but it isn’t and just ends up being awfully British – rudimentary camerawork, score from a Sunday church service, barely competent actors who’ve littered a hundred other mediocre British films.  

Why I’m being so harsh on such a nothing movie aimed at kids I don’t know. 

That’s enough for today. 

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