Category Archives: Film

Jul 17 2023
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Art, Britain, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Croupier (1998).

Atmosphere from the gods here.

It doesn’t even matter what the subject matter is – this is ridiculous in that it’s just Clive Owen narrating a few events. It’s so magisterial in its framing, the shot syntax, the subtext of the bare-bones screenplay, that I was kind of engulfed in it all despite not actively being engaged in the story. A brooding exercise in style.

Casino (1995) is the best movie about a casino, but this casino-based film isn’t about a casino; it could be set in a Lidl.

If that makes any sense. 

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Jul 13 2023
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies

Okja (2017).

It kicks off with a most annoying opening to the extent that even the presentation of the credits pissed me off. Beyond this bad omen, the critter at least was a cute wee hippo … thing, but this aside it was simply too much of an effort to follow what was happening. It was also unnecessarily loud, a bombardment of racket. Remove the elephant/pig/hippo creature and it’s just needless noise. Boring.

I wouldn’t bother.

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Jul 10 2023
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Art, Cinema, Film, Germany, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States, USSR, World War Two

Enemy at the Gates (2001).

This really was a wasted opportunity, the gift of a premise – two snipers in a dance of death amidst the backdrop of the bloodiest battle in history – compromised by a pointless romance, daft politics, dodgy accents, and a complete misunderstanding of the time and place depicted.

It would have been better to not tackle the complexity of it all and just show the antagonists facing off, with allusions to the wider ideological foes.

The first 10 mins, though. Watch those and then turn it off. Here you go:

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Jul 08 2023
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Music, Uncategorized

Shaft (2000).

Bit of a trivial non-story this one but what else do you expect from a rejig of a silly caper?

It starts off all kitsch and almost in awe of its prototype, but it gets much better once the police corruption is exposed; it ended up delivering more than I expected.

Christian Bale is a Very Bad Bale, just a slimy, smug yuppie, and as shameless as it gets, but he somehow imbues the scumbag with vulnerabilities; it’s just before his Full-Bateman turn before he went Full-Batman. But the big kudos go to Jeffrey Wright’s wannabe socially protean drug baron. He’s a ludicrous Tony Montana imitation. And extremely funny. 

The small pleasures from these movies mostly consist of spotting the actor. We’ve got George Costanza’s boss from Seinfeld, Dan Hedaya (the bloke who is in everything), and both Kima Greggs and that annoying prat Bubbles from The Wire. And the mom from The Sixth Sense (1999).

Good theme tune. 

It’s not bad. 

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Jul 06 2023
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Technology, Uncategorized

In the Shadow of the Moon (2019).

This was just plain annoying, featuring a very annoying protagonist with a very annoying voice. I realised it’s one of the blokes from Narcos and the reason I stopped watching that show. Michael C. Hall is also in this and he also has an annoying voice. We also have Bokeem Woodbine, who possesses the softest, suavest voice, but he’s not in it enough for the movie to be decent.

I lost interest in it all after half an hour and doubt I’ve missed anything worth writing about. It’s just an array of annoying voices.

Next.

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Jul 03 2023
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Art, Building, Cinema, Construction, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Noah (2014) is terribly dull.

I know very little about any of this; I quite simply do not care for the yarn, and I never will. So such Biblical inaccuracies are of no concern to me, much as a filmic deviation from a comic book also rouses no faux-incredulity on my behalf.

Visuals here were impressive. The rest, absolute shite, from the horrible characters to the bombast, and the general tedium of it all.

Pish.

Bye for now.

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Jun 19 2023
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States

Traffic (2000).

Watched this again after a decade-long hiatus. I didn’t like it at all, mainly because I wasn’t really paying attention. I knew something was wrong with my approach, mainly that one should actually concentrate on the potential cinematic treat instead of fiddling with an iPhone.

The documentary triumph of it stems undoubtedly from the director’s expertise behind the camera, a rarity in that the helmsman can indeed operate one. The colour schemes for the narrative strands make sense, and nothing about it feels dated at all, even if seeing Catherine Zeta-Jones in a movie is a strange experience. I genuinely forgot she was ever in films.

A message movie and an education piece which works as a thriller.

And stay off the crack.

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Jun 12 2023
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Art, Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Ripley’s Game (2002).

This is the John Malkovich Show.

He is so perfect as Ripley, camp and creepy and always funny, you almost wish he could de-age a wee bit in 1999 and play the eponymous nutjob in The Talented Mr Ripley, which is a belter in its own right.

This film is just great, a thriller which is amusing, and a proper character piece. It’s about how little innocuous things lead to grand dramas, and how petty acts have far-reaching consequences. And how Ray Winstone really should not have an earring.

A riot of a movie.

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Jun 05 2023
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Architecture, Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Technology, Uncategorized

Melancholia (2011).

The personal narratives – mega meltdowns – linked to an Extinction Level Event (ELE) is a lofty ambition but the director cannot be faulted for his audacity, and this film has a preternatural quality from the start with its striking opening and inspired use of Wagner (Tristan und Isolde).

We also have an acidic Charlotte Rampling, a plastered John Hurt, and Kiefer Sutherland doing his best ‘Fuming Mode’ in quite some time. There are scenes of such awkwardness in the first act that it’s a genuine feat to have put them together in rapid succession. Then we get all apocalyptic and it somehow works. There are so few movies like this, one toils to put it in a category.

It’s fucking depressing but in a good way. 

Further reading/viewing:

https://slate.com/technology/2011/11/lars-von-trier-s-melancholia-what-are-the-chances-of-a-planetary-collision.html

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May 29 2023
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United States

Look Who’s Talking (1989). What the fuck have I just watched?

Classic songs you’d expect in a Scorsese movie ruined by their despairing accompaniment to threadbare scenes of Travolta and Alley mugging it, that’s Look Who’s Talking (1989) summed up.

I don’t get the point of any of it. It’s coarse, crude, cheap, and frankly just a minging watch. How is the interior monologue of a baby amusing? Oh, Bruce Willis does the voice of the critter. What genius! 

A movie that can’t decide if it’s family fare or an R rating, it’s somewhere thrashing in the middle, daft and pointless. I suppose this got Travolta through his ‘wilderness years’ as it beguilingly scooped up a fucking fortune. But audiences know nothing.

I watch a lot of shite. I seem to enjoy it.

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