Category Archives: Film

No Country for Old Men (2007).

I found this rather boring and visually not that great. It has a massive rep and I can’t really see how. 

It’s not rubbish but it’s in no way a life-changing work. The scenes go on too long, the dialogue feels forced, the carnage isn’t exciting enough.

Maybe I’m missing something incredible about it but I shall not watch again. 

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Thirteen Days (2000).

A very weak Costner performance, especially when you consider that the real-life Kenny O’Donnell had little bearing on these events. The role stinks of ego and the movie is better when he doesn’t feature. Sadly, he’s never off the screen. 

The actors playing the Kennedy brothers are also fucking dire. 

Actually, fuck this film. It was pish. 

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Cube (1997).

An initially gruesome watch in an almost delightful way but it ran out of steam.

A high-concept slice of manky that precursors the Saw franchise, it knows how to ramp up the claustrophobia, a motley company of strangers stuck in a booby-trapped cube of nasties.

Sadly, the characters end up biting the dust (either physically or as characters) just as they start to demand our interest/respect. They are second fiddle to the tension and contrivances that are unbearable at times and I’m guessing that was the point. 

It’s great for 45 mins. Sadly, it proceeds into the rubbish. Why are they in a cube? What was really happening? Why was I losing interest the longer this story went on? I wanted answers; I got none.

A cube does not warrant 90 mins. 

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Twisters (2024).

Several things about this movie annoyed me prior to watching it: it’s a reboot of a disaster flick that isn’t any good, it features that immensely vexing bloke from Top Gun: Maverick (2022), and I hate films about the weather – aside from Groundhog Day (1993), which is weather as MacGuffin.

Barrels resembling Quint’s annoyed me. It’s an opening wee scene and a protagonist introduces herself via one of these vlogs and there are barrels in the frame. At least be subtle in your references.

Dialogue was from the dustbin and I could predict almost every other line a character was about to say.

Some of it is good – the effects are splendid. There is at least chemistry between the leads. 

But one of the characters is the spitting image of Noah Tannenbaum from season three of The Sopranos, so this loses half a star. 

1.5/5. 

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10 Things I Hate About You (1999).

This is the perfect little gem and remarkably not stupid or annoying.

A genuinely witty high school comedy with a dazzling Heath Ledger, it belongs to that magical period in cinema that is 1999, a year of glory. The only shite thing about this film is that it’s just 90 mins long, and let’s ponder the miracle that both this and Cruel Intentions (1999) occupy the same space. 

It was 1999, though.

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U.S. Marshals (1998).

It’s not The Fugitive (1993), but what could be? 

An entirely unnecessary sequel with no character development or anything approaching the battle of smarts that was Indiana Solo vs. Tommy Lee Jones, but it has a few thrills, and Robert Downey Jr. thankfully keeps his rote muttering shtick to a minimum.

And Tommy Lee Jones dresses up as a chicken for the purposes of law enforcement.

I’ve had worse viewing experiences. 

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Drop Zone (1994).

Another John Badham movie?! This bloke directed everything, your journeyman hack for hire. Talented, though. 

Here we have Wesley Snipes and the frankly barking Gary Busey in the same movie. It’s hokum but good for what it is. The action is splendid, and it just about makes up for a highly annoying performance from ‘90s resident oddball Michael Jeter. 

It’s also a shame what happened to Snipes as he’s a decent actor. 

It’s alright. Just don’t be expecting anything deep. 

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The Adjustment Bureau (2011).

I saw this in a hotel room once, but I don’t know when or where, only recalling it was okay. 

And it is. 

Terence Stamp is in it and he is just wonderful. As he is in everything.

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The Last Starfighter (1984).

I dreaded this viewing as it’s never a splendid idea to revisit a childhood classic.

Imagine my surprise upon enjoying this charming little flick. You know what I liked about it the most?

It isn’t shite.

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Hit Man (2023).

This was awful.

Nothing else to add.

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