Category Archives: Crime

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998).

It’s some experience, and not just as a kaleidoscope, a who’s who of ‘lads’ from yesteryear. Worth a viewing aside from Vinnie Jones in his worst performance. One loses track of the sighing at his antics.

To steer clear of the alleged football player, the movie is a gem in places. Not much of a script, premise a bit desperate, but if you mute the pratfall happy-to-be-here frolics of half the ‘actors’ in half the scenes, the rest of the sequences are an inspiration, a compendium of short movies shot like a bloke who studied Scorsese and saw how to use a song for a character intro.

It’s entertaining as hell if you skip 50% of it all. And Vinnie Jones.

Razors from The Long Good Friday (1980) wielding a rubber willy is also amusing.

Tagged , , , , ,

William Friedkin. Maestro.

Now is as good a time as any to watch To Live and Die in L.A. (1985) again. There you go:

Tagged , , , ,

Dragged Across Concrete (2018).

What rubbish this was!

The lines weren’t delivered with any conviction at all. It’s just the writer/director shoehorning his own real-life monologues into every scene. The movie is essentially a rant. 

Nice bit of attempted world building but it’s all superfluous. And lots of stoic, emotionless men sighing. Over and over and over. 

Worst movie I’ve seen in quite some time. 

Watch it if you enjoy shite.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

John McTiernan. Someone give him a job.

The Holy Trinity (Predator, Die Hard, Red October) with the Bruce Willis gem at the centre, McTiernan redefined or perhaps created the modern action film, a wee cradle of movies with wit, imagination, state of the art pyrotechnics, and an unnerving ability for shot selection. You can’t lose that talent, despite the Odysseus-long hiatus from a camera-wielding exploit.

He’s back from Shawshank as a model ex-prisoner.

John, just get a camera, sound kit, and a few pals together and make a short your new calling card.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Superman (1978).

Why is Marlon Brando in this? I’m confused. He appears lost, like he’s doing King Lear and not a man-in-a-cape flick.

Anyway, it’s an okay movie once the boring prologue ends, and I don’t mind the rubbish special effects. They kind of add to the charm. 

This is what a superhero movie can be when it doesn’t feel the requirement for daft political subtext or the shoehorning in of a fashionable theme of the day. Just tell the fucking story! 

It doesn’t half drag on but it’s a good template for that kind of movie. But I’ll never watch it again.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

The Big Man (1990).

This has the most insane sudden shifts in style and tone. It fees like a student movie, and then you have some ludicrous sentimental schmaltz – strong Rocky (1976) pretensions – thrown in the mix. It’s certainly unpredictable and often entertaining, and the confidence of it all is twinned to an actual story with proper societal issues. Visually, it has some impressive and daring scenes, and the physical specimen that is peak Liam Neeson. 

But, unfortunately, Hugh Grant turns up. I don’t know what accent he’s speaking in because I’ve never heard anyone talk like that.

I didn’t believe a minute of this movie. But I’m not bothered. 

I’m more perplexed as to how and why Ennio Morricone scored this to tunes that sound like the b-side of The Untouchables (1987). 

Tagged , , , ,

Croupier (1998).

Atmosphere from the gods here.

It doesn’t even matter what the subject matter is – this is ridiculous in that it’s just Clive Owen narrating a few events. It’s so magisterial in its framing, the shot syntax, the subtext of the bare-bones screenplay, that I was kind of engulfed in it all despite not actively being engaged in the story. A brooding exercise in style.

Casino (1995) is the best movie about a casino, but this casino-based film isn’t about a casino; it could be set in a Lidl.

If that makes any sense. 

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Ah, the majesty that is Pine Barrens.

The funniest episode of any show ever. It’s not just the quotes but the brilliance of the situation. Big-shot mafia goons go a few miles outside of their comfort zone and they don’t know what to do. 

They get lost and almost die in a two-mile stretch of woods. Useless/hopeless/pointless individuals. That’s the genius of the writing.

Imagine them on an Ant Middleton show.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Shaft (2000).

Bit of a trivial non-story this one but what else do you expect from a rejig of a silly caper?

It starts off all kitsch and almost in awe of its prototype, but it gets much better once the police corruption is exposed; it ended up delivering more than I expected.

Christian Bale is a Very Bad Bale, just a slimy, smug yuppie, and as shameless as it gets, but he somehow imbues the scumbag with vulnerabilities; it’s just before his Full-Bateman turn before he went Full-Batman. But the big kudos go to Jeffrey Wright’s wannabe socially protean drug baron. He’s a ludicrous Tony Montana imitation. And extremely funny. 

The small pleasures from these movies mostly consist of spotting the actor. We’ve got George Costanza’s boss from Seinfeld, Dan Hedaya (the bloke who is in everything), and both Kima Greggs and that annoying prat Bubbles from The Wire. And the mom from The Sixth Sense (1999).

Good theme tune. 

It’s not bad. 

Tagged , , , ,

In the Shadow of the Moon (2019).

This was just plain annoying, featuring a very annoying protagonist with a very annoying voice. I realised it’s one of the blokes from Narcos and the reason I stopped watching that show. Michael C. Hall is also in this and he also has an annoying voice. We also have Bokeem Woodbine, who possesses the softest, suavest voice, but he’s not in it enough for the movie to be decent.

I lost interest in it all after half an hour and doubt I’ve missed anything worth writing about. It’s just an array of annoying voices.

Next.

Tagged , , , , ,