Category Archives: Art

Nobody (2021). AWESOME.

Loved this. Think John Wick/The Equalizer/Death Wish rolled into a can and Saul Goodman peeking in for a whirl. It’s frankly ludicrous in bits but just so entertaining. This is action done right – it stems from the real-life scenarios we see daily in the tabloids and hope such things never happen to us (sometimes they do).

I recall the Travis Bickle’s tragic line, “Here is a man who would not take it anymore.”

But talk about fight scenes. This film demonstrates what it’s like to be punched in the face. It really hurts. Personally, I’ve always preferred a whack in the chin than the nose; with the former, you’re done. The latter, you bleed and show the wounds of battle.

This movie is hilarious and believable at the same time. It’s a 5/5. Well done, Bob Odenkirk. Top lad.

Get it seen!

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Against the Ice (2022).

1909 and it’s Denmark’s, or more accurately Ejnar Mikkelsen’s, harrowing quest to prove that Greenland isn’t split into two. The reviews are mixed but I was really impressed with this.

It goes through all the survival movie tropes but it’s never boring. It takes you right into the action with little need for long exposition, a crime of so many of these films. I wouldn’t say there’s a single memorable shot, but it’s as captivating as anything in the genre I’ve seen since The Grey (2011).

It can make one dream of adopting a husky. And I didn’t once think of Jaime Lannister.

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Pieces of Her (2022) defines derivative.

A well-acted shitter (Toni Collette is marvellous in everything) but this descended into farce after about 30 unexpectedly disturbing minutes – I thought this was meant to be one of those quirky coming-of-age dramedies which can be quite therapeutic on occasion. The horrific MacGuffin had me almost turning the show off, such was its realism and relevance. I give it some kudos for that.

Things got messy thereon, however, and I’m referring to the script. It wasn’t going anywhere and I was losing interest with every gnawingly predictable moment, a pile-on of scenes from other thrillers. By the second episode I was lost in the world of far superior stuff demanding a second viewing.

I pulled the plug.

I hope you follow my lead (see what I did there?).

Rubbish.

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Meet the Parents (2000) is forever hilarious.

It’s finally on Netflix, the streaming platform the excuse to watch once more what you’ve viewed 20-odd times already.

This is the ultimate comedy about Murphy’s Law, with one inane episode after another. But they are all credible and you believe every moment. It’s so well shot and edited, with the awkward reactions and expressions half of the hilarity. Moreover, it defines awkward. And there’s a seasonal quality to it, like it should be mandatory Christmas viewing.

Sadly, together with Analyze This (1999), it gave De Niro the impression he was first and foremost a comedian, and it kickstarted almost two decades of utter shite from the legend. This includes the truly horrid sequels to this masterpiece.

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The Lighthouse (2019) is out there.

This movie defines fate and foreboding, superstition and subterfuge. It’s ostensibly about two blokes with shady pasts, but segues to a hysterical Puritan sermon on the dangers of drink, with a style which harks back to German Expressionism

It all gets a bit hardcore. You’re on a lighthouse island and with no escape, stranded with two total lunatics, the nominally quiet one and the macho man – and a descent into madness is the only outcome. It’s a gnarly movie.

And subtitles are needed for Willem Dafoe.

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Jules et Jim (1962) is on.

I’d like to think that the truly great François Truffaut would be disgusted with this sneaky snap I took from behind a bus window, a wee ‘Ned’ at the back of the vessel screaming into his mobile the pros of beating a rival thug into a “fuckin’ bin”.

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The Gentlemen (2019).

This is Guy Ritchie but Ritchie without most of the silliness, as in it’s silly but less silly than his usual fare. It’s actually quite entertaining, and at least shows some interest in how crime works, its structures and ins and outs. It’s also quite accurate in its depiction of gentry and their stately manors, and the lengths they will go to maintain their country estates. Additionally, there aren’t many Jack the Lads loitering about the frame, a standard Ritchie annoyance.

The movie peters out but it’s a not entirely wasted 90 minutes. There are a few grisly scenes which capture the omniscience today of horrifying YouTube videos luxuriating in street violence, and the movie builds to the extent that you wait for a deus ex machina but unfortunately it never happens, which is kind of irritating because you’re expecting an audacious twist.

Matthew McConaughey is excellent as always, and there are lots of bunnets, a.k.a. flat caps. I like bunnets.

Worth a bash.

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Gunpowder, Treason & Plot (2004) is Robert Carlyle at his most Robert Carlyle.

For the exposition, I thought this one of the worst performances I’d ever seen. It was like Carlyle watched Richard III – play or any movie – and decided to limp about like Crookback for the duration of a gunpowder plot. And spice it up with a bit of Begbie. His James VI/I is a foul-mouthed little bastard with no grace or manners, an opportunistic cockroach who would murder an OAP for a bag of sugar.

I was thinking this and then I thought: this is 1603+. These creatures chucked one another onto bonfires and ripped their entrails apart. And the same sort would do the same today if they could. And then I got the genius of the performance.

Carlyle is keeping it real.

This is the only place I could find it. It’s very good, and with a young(ish) Michael Fassbender as Guy Fawkes:

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Nicolas Cage and a pig ….

I was never sceptical that Nicolas Cage couldn’t do it, but when you hear ominous rumours swirling about of a movie consisting of Nicolas Cage trying to find his stolen truffle pig, I was a wee bit … concerned. But I shouldn’t have been.

Cage pulls it off with aplomb (of course he would have). He excels at normal-weird, if this makes sense. I define it as weirdness with an explanation. He’s a rather unorthodox actor, to say the least, but even in flicks ripe for garbage disposal, he’s always interesting.

Pig (2021) did surprise me. It wasn’t shit or pretentious or boring. It’s a curious wee arthouse number with Cage at the centre, occasionally losing his shit as Cage does, but ultimately all in service of the character. It’s no masterpiece but feels like it should be.

He just wants his pig back.

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