Author Archives: Ben Gould

May 01 2021
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The Last Samurai (2003). Well done to everyone involved.

An Edward Zwick movie – when I hear that I think workmanlike and solid, but this surprised me by how exciting and gripping it was. Adventure, thrills, history, and Hans Zimmer. The bad lad from Ghost (1990) is even quality here. Ghost is terrible, by the way, an unholy mess. I cannot stand Whoopi Goldberg. Acting talent of a Wotsit.

Back to this, and Cruise, as always, is epic. You always believe in what he does because he gives his all every time. The voice-over is a tad annoying and ventures into spelling out the obvious but this aside the picture is a stunning achievement. And I love Japan. It was one of those trips that couldn’t be scripted. And I did do the karaoke thing and was so appalling it has gone into semi-legendary folklore.

Apr 28 2021
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Uncategorized

Starship Troopers (1997) is an absolute belter.

It’s hilarious satire, and so smartly done. It’s also damn entertaining. And it hasn’t aged a bit.

It’s in fact way ahead of its time. The lunacy of some of the reviews of 1997. These idiotic ‘critics’ didn’t seem to grasp that everything about the movie is a joke, a piss-take, a borderline comedy. The characters are straight out of a Nazi propaganda piece, and they have legit no redeeming features. But you still watch it for their complete lack of self-awareness.

And the carnage. I like proper carnage.

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Apr 26 2021
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Architecture, Britain, Building, Edinburgh, Photography

Edinburgh lockdown – week 58. Is this still a lockdown?

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Apr 24 2021
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Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, World War Two, WWII

The English Patient (1996) is just total crap.

I had to slap myself by the end of this because I once, for reasons beyond any understanding of my own psyche, thought it was brilliant. It’s not. It’s fucking dire. It’s SO boring. Everything about it is boring. The characters are boring. The story is boring. It even makes WWII boring. Nothing in it is even worth telling. Almost everyone on display is an imbecile; Juliette Binoche is the only one with a personality.

I don’t get the central romance on display. The Katharine character (if you can call her that) is just so … BORING. There is literally nothing about her worth bothering with because she is a cure for insomnia. And I lost track of how many times the director had to pull out a plane crash or a plane being shot in order to advance the plot. It infuriated me. Is this nonsense in the book? It swept the awards in 1996. The voters must have all been on drugs.

I must have been on drugs when I watched this a decade ago and thought it a cracker. There’s no other explanation.

Pile of shite.

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Apr 22 2021
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Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized, United Kingdom

Snatch (2000) is great until a certain former Wimbledon footballer makes an appearance.

This admittedly amusing movie is not about a single thing aside from how the narrative strands collide, and they are loose connections at most. It is merely highly entertaining, brimming with energy and giggles, though we mainly laugh at how stupid and un-self-aware most of the characters are. It’s a lot of fun until Vinnie Jones turns up and sinks the joys. He’s just awful in everything, but especially this.

For some reason he transitioned from being a dreadful footballer to a dreadful actor. I blame that whole late ’90s ‘lad culture’ … thing, the heyday of Loaded magazine and the milder second renaissance of the beer-swigging hooligan. Only back then could someone so talentless be glorified for thuggery. He’s a former football hardman turned hardman ‘actor’ and this is meant to be hilarious. Sigh.

But it’s cracking until he turns up.

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Apr 20 2021
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Uncategorized

The Grey (2011) is fabulous.

I’ve read a few sneering reviews from snooty film critics taking umbrage at the movie’s existential pretensions. I don’t get where they’re coming from; if you’re being stalked and mauled by a pack of sociopathic wolves I think you’d start to think about your existence. Anyway, it’s a thrilling movie. There’s no comedy or irony or a memorable quote; what it does is action and does it with aplomb. It’s about willpower and survival. And Liam fighting wolves. That’s it.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Apr 19 2021
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Architecture, Building, Edinburgh, Photography, Scotland, Uncategorized

Edinburgh lockdown – week 57. This will never end.

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Apr 18 2021
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Art, Cinema, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Goldeneye (1995) is the only 5/5 James Bond movie.

Because it’s not just a Bond film. It’s actually about something other than tropes and ticking boxes. I often hear the mantra, “Folk only love it because it ties in with the N64 game.” It’s a decent proposition for an argument but misses the point – the game is also amazing yet they don’t depend on each other.

Goldeneye (1995) is so well crafted, so correctly paced, so … frankly strange. The Eric Serra score is implausible yet it somehow works. Perhaps the gargantuan gap (world events) between 1989 and 1995 was for the best, because this picture at times even becomes about that End of History theme. And the villain is the only one you can take seriously in the entire cannon of Bonds. Everything 006 does seems plausible and he brings out the best in 007.

It’s a masterpiece.

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Apr 17 2021
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Oh, Marlon. The Best Interview Ever.

It defines Brando. And Cavett. They nail everything. I miss those days. Not that I was there.

Apr 14 2021
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Cinema, Crime, Film, Movie, Movies, Uncategorized

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) is the best way to end them.

A thrilling series comes to its end. The Lethal Weapon movies were just so good at balancing the action and the comedy, and the four of them represent the peak of the buddy-cop movie. This is the most fitting finale that they could have come up with; it winds the series down perfectly.

These are actual characters you know and have grown up with. They are strikingly real and the last chapter especially doesn’t downplay their ageing and the toils of time.

And to the epic fight scenes. It’s an overused saying that (‘EPIC’) but these really are. That fight to the death with Jet Li is shit-your-pants time.

There is no point making a fifth one; it would just waste the legacy.

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