Nicolas Cage went full meta years ago but now it’s official.
Tag Archives: Cinema
Equilibrium (2002) is better than the Matrix sequels.
And I don’t know why it was ever associated with those mingers. It has guns and a similar theme. Wow!
There’s nothing particularly new or groundbreaking about Equilibrium (2002). It’s just a really well-made high-concept flick from someone straight out of a movie den who’s made it their quest to put into entertainment what they’ve absorbed from staples of the genre. All the usual tropes are here: regime offering order instead of chaos, Orwellian euphemisms and doublespeak, the conflicted civil servant.
“Who will guard the guards themselves?” will always provide plenty of movie material, and this is supremely stylish and flies by. It knows it’s shite. And that’s a good thing.
And Sean Bean dies in it. Which is inevitable.
Meet the Parents (2000) is forever hilarious.
It’s finally on Netflix, the streaming platform the excuse to watch once more what you’ve viewed 20-odd times already.
This is the ultimate comedy about Murphy’s Law, with one inane episode after another. But they are all credible and you believe every moment. It’s so well shot and edited, with the awkward reactions and expressions half of the hilarity. Moreover, it defines awkward. And there’s a seasonal quality to it, like it should be mandatory Christmas viewing.
Sadly, together with Analyze This (1999), it gave De Niro the impression he was first and foremost a comedian, and it kickstarted almost two decades of utter shite from the legend. This includes the truly horrid sequels to this masterpiece.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021). I turned it off.
I’ll keep this short.
I lasted 54 minutes but couldn’t take any more pain.
It’s nothing but a desperate parody of the original.
I wondered why or how Keanu Reeves was in it. It’s either blackmail material or the makers of this sorry sack of shit were in possession of another sad-with-a-sandwich meme.
It’s visually so anonymous and could be any derivative movie among a thousand.
It has nothing to say.
And every character in it I wished to flush down a toilet.
It’s pointless.
Bye for now.
The Lighthouse (2019) is out there.
This movie defines fate and foreboding, superstition and subterfuge. It’s ostensibly about two blokes with shady pasts, but segues to a hysterical Puritan sermon on the dangers of drink, with a style which harks back to German Expressionism
It all gets a bit hardcore. You’re on a lighthouse island and with no escape, stranded with two total lunatics, the nominally quiet one and the macho man – and a descent into madness is the only outcome. It’s a gnarly movie.
And subtitles are needed for Willem Dafoe.
Munich – The Edge of War (2021). What a dire experience this waste of a movie is.
I was a bit dubious of this because it’s a British production about WWII, which are typically dull, mannered, mawkish, and entirely made-for-TV fare. It saddens me to report that Munich is all of the above and worse. It’s fucking atrocious. I don’t know where the tendency came from to depict these world-historical events from the POVs of superfluous (and entirely made up) secondary characters, but it’s vexing. Maybe just make a movie involving the actual statesmen, nah? This pointless, drama school-level acted show even has its forgettable range of third-wheels hog the screen time.
The screenplay is annoying to the max, every line of dialogue straight out of an alleged quote stemming from an alleged secondary source. One accidental highlight: I was taken aback by a smug-as-fuck SS character who appeared to be doing a very bad impersonation of the August Diehl bad boy from Inglorious Basterds (2009) – he had his voice and mannerisms and looked like him a decade on. It’s a truly embarrassing copycat acting job. And then I realised it was actually him. It’s the only what-the-hell and almost interesting moment of a placid and pointless excursion into revisionism.
Trash. But even cruddier than your usual sort because the topic is important. I’ve read a few reviews and it’s highly regarded, with a whopping 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. What are these critics on?
The Gentlemen (2019).
This is Guy Ritchie but Ritchie without most of the silliness, as in it’s silly but less silly than his usual fare. It’s actually quite entertaining, and at least shows some interest in how crime works, its structures and ins and outs. It’s also quite accurate in its depiction of gentry and their stately manors, and the lengths they will go to maintain their country estates. Additionally, there aren’t many Jack the Lads loitering about the frame, a standard Ritchie annoyance.
The movie peters out but it’s a not entirely wasted 90 minutes. There are a few grisly scenes which capture the omniscience today of horrifying YouTube videos luxuriating in street violence, and the movie builds to the extent that you wait for a deus ex machina but unfortunately it never happens, which is kind of irritating because you’re expecting an audacious twist.
Matthew McConaughey is excellent as always, and there are lots of bunnets, a.k.a. flat caps. I like bunnets.
Worth a bash.
Nicolas Cage and a pig ….
I was never sceptical that Nicolas Cage couldn’t do it, but when you hear ominous rumours swirling about of a movie consisting of Nicolas Cage trying to find his stolen truffle pig, I was a wee bit … concerned. But I shouldn’t have been.
Cage pulls it off with aplomb (of course he would have). He excels at normal-weird, if this makes sense. I define it as weirdness with an explanation. He’s a rather unorthodox actor, to say the least, but even in flicks ripe for garbage disposal, he’s always interesting.
Pig (2021) did surprise me. It wasn’t shit or pretentious or boring. It’s a curious wee arthouse number with Cage at the centre, occasionally losing his shit as Cage does, but ultimately all in service of the character. It’s no masterpiece but feels like it should be.
He just wants his pig back.
Villain (2020).
Shockingly not shit and occasionally great, Villain (2020) isn’t a make-believe gangster movie with fake tough guys à la Guy Ritchie. It feels real. And that’s down to the understated performances and the atmosphere of simmering menace. And the fact it’s actually shot with competence and not edited to within an inch of its life.
Craig Fairbrass has been around for decades and I never thought him a bad actor and he does have a physical presence. But I never knew he had this in him. He’s not his usual direct-to-video/straight-to-streaming lead here; it’s a long-awaited starring role in a proper movie that isn’t balls. The Rise of the Footsoldier movies, and I’ve lost track of how many of them are kicking about now, have their moments of entertaining mindless carnage but enough is enough.
I’ve never seen the Richard Burton film from 1971 and I don’t think it has anything to do with this. I won’t bother myself with it.
The Departed (2006) is the last great Jack performance.
He is nuts in this, a total riot, and clearly loving his epic life. Some scenes approach a scale of madness, and it’s almost a parody of a Jack Nicholson role, but not quite. The masterpiece revolves around the whims of this lad, every other character in awe of him. Even if he goes full-Joker, he still manages to imbue Frank Costello with pathos, and dare I say it, tragedy. You can’t picture anyone else in the role, and it’s a tragedy in itself that Scorsese and Nicholson only tangoed for the one motion picture.
Best scene? Jack impersonating a rat. A decent impression.
Wanderings and ... wonderings. 