Tag Archives: 2021

Dune (2021). It’s definitely not shit.

But I found it slightly disappointing and for a good 30 minutes in the middle I was bored beyond belief; I won’t spoil why.

I regret not seeing it in the cinema, though, as it’s better than most films of this … variety. To a large extent reliant on spectacle (for that’s what it is), I suppose these aesthetic qualities demand a big-screen experience rather than a god-knows-what-inch £55 second-hand Chromebook.

It gets a lot right – the stunning visuals, the world-building, the casting, sandworms that aren’t ‘Pure LOL’, and the spirit of the book. And most importantly, it isn’t the David Lynch version.

Thank fuck for that.

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No Time To Die (2021) is utter rubbish. Don’t waste your time on it.

I didn’t think much of Casino Royale (2006), I’ve forgotten everything about Quantum of Solace (2008), couldn’t stand Skyfall (2012), and hated Spectre (2015) mainly because it somehow made boring the considerable talents of his preeminence Herr. Christoph Waltz. I don’t mind Daniel Craig as an actor but he’s nothing special. My main gripe against these silly movies, though, is that they are so in awe of Jason Bourne it’s embarrassing. They are incapable of being Bond and feel the need to ape the zeitgeist.

So, I suppose I came into No Time To Die (2021) with an open mind when I saw it yesterday with the usual alcopop smörgåsbord tucked under my cardigan.

My thoughts:

It’s so annoyingly crap. It dragged on and on and on, and I fell asleep for what I think was 30 minutes. The first hour was actually decent, Ana de Armas’ cameo easily the highlight. She injects so much unpredictable energy into proceedings that she makes the rest of the prosaic elements on display to be of no consequence. And jarringly, it feels like her vignette is from another movie; it stinks of a reshoot and a different writer hired a year after the first cut.

And the villains – all four of them – were a snore, one generic cardboard nonentity after another, with Waltz wasted yet again. A full saggy middle consists of all the players explaining the convolutions of the plot to the audience. And sadly, there is zero chemistry between Bond and the Léa Seydoux character; she’s a thoroughly talented actor but has more of a glacial appeal better suited to French arthouse cinema than a Bond movie. She looks decidedly uninterested throughout proceedings.

Even more vexing, the film has the desperation to resort to appropriating a song from one of the only few Bond movies worthy of a repeat viewing. The action is thrilling, but so what? If that’s what you judge a movie on then I can watch 50 other more captivating motion pictures, from vintage John Woo in his Hong Kong heyday to peak Paul Greengrass.

No Time To Die is tiresome and tedious and relentlessly pointless.

Brace yourself for the next shite adventure.

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