Oslo | Wanderings and ... wonderings.

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Christmas brings back the nostalgia, and I do most cherish those memories from the good ol’ days – stuffing my cheeks with selection boxes whilst wailing “Woof” at Buzz’s girlfriend. Xmas is a childhood signifier, the throwback event to an uncomplicated time when the most strenuous task was grabbing forty winks on Christmas Eve.

One recent Christmas Day stays with me, though. Alone in Oslo circa 2013, it was a day of, if not self-discovery, then a serene, surreal solitude (accidental alliteration).

I was reminded of that line in Heat (1995) when De Niro’s character ventures, “I am alone, I am not lonely.” That was Oslo for me: I simply walked the barely inhabited streets apropos of nothing, uttering not a word to anyone, feeling myself an invisible, pointless wanderer passing through the geography. I did nothing, and liberating it was. I’ve not had a jaunt like that since. I recommend Oslo – anonymous, pallid, flat – as the place for it. Maybe it’s livelier in the summer.

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Return to Oslo.

Being back in Oslo was like returning to the office late at night because you’ve left your house keys on the desk – it’s a veritable grind. And then upon exiting for the car park you find you’ve been billed for the trouble.

Extortionate prices and a prosaic air characterise proceedings. I’ve seldom so struggled to pick out positives amidst the nausea; the capital has the delightful charm of a dilapidated skip. Boring, lifeless, and rather without purpose, I think I’d rather run around an Edinburgh B&Q for half a week in my underwear than go back for a third time.

Nevertheless, there remain some highlights from my four-day bimble:

1. The company was cracking, Duty-Free purchased alcohol further amplifying the extended soirée.

2. The hostel Wi-Fi was decent.

3. I stumbled across a seagull the size of an albatross. This amused me.

4. Norway’s Resistance Museum enlightened, and displayed an impressive array of period pieces.

I am told that the ugly tedium of the city in no way reflects provincial Norway, nor the country’s incredible wilderness. I shall investigate and report back.

Wanderings and … wonderings.

Tag Archives: Oslo

Christmas Day in Oslo.

Return to Oslo.